Call me crazy, but I kind of want him to stay. What do I do?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

He's supposed to come over tomorrow to drop off the rest of my belongings. The majority of our previous breakups and separations have not come to fruition. Which gives me a bit of hope that he hasn't completely shut the door here. Say I want to give our relationship another shot. What should I do tomorrow so that I don't overwhelm him, but to possibly have him reconsider not breaking up? I know that, unfortunately, straightforward communication may not get me the results that I seek.

It feels like the less I say/do, the more he will be baffled at my lack of trying to get him to stay. I know I shouldn't beg or grovel. What, if anything, might motivate him to stay?

[confusedwoman]

He's supposed to come over tomorrow to drop off the rest of my belongings. The majority of our previous breakups and separations have not come to fruition. Which gives me a bit of hope that he hasn't completely shut the door here. Say I want to give our relationship another shot. What should I do tomorrow so that I don't overwhelm him, but to possibly have him reconsider not breaking up? I know that, unfortunately, straightforward communication may not get me the results that I seek.

It feels like the less I say/do, the more he will be baffled at my lack of trying to get him to stay. I know I shouldn't beg or grovel. What, if anything, might motivate him to stay?

[an0ught]

Hi Confusedwoman,

There have been other breaks so maybe this is not the last one?

What should I do tomorrow so that I don't overwhelm him, but to possibly have him reconsider not breaking up? I

Do you truly understand why he is feeling to need to do it? Does he feel you truly understand?

If you want to strengthen connection - validate.

If you want to be heard - SET.

Whatever your main messages are - keep them simple and short.

Last but not least keep in mind you have value and are lovable with or without him!

[despr8]

Hi its me again all I can say is count the cost if you want to stay in the relationship because there is a high cost to maintaining a relationship with someone who has BPD ... .good luck and remember what the other person said you a valuable with or with out him