
Welcome to the site.
You did a very good job of keeping your story brief!

You have so much going on it is easy to see how you would be overwhelmed! This is a good place to start seeking answers and support.
First, ditto everything lbj stated in the previous post.
Next, you have my absolute empathy. We have a DD36, BPD and substance abuse. It is heartbreaking. Like yourselves, we also did everything possible to love, support, encourage her to help her help herself. Because she is an addict we will not let her live with us- she lies, cheats and steals. We recently made the difficult decision to stop supporting her and helped her move to the city shelter where she entered their recovery program where she is warm, safe and dry with 3 meals a day. We realized we were doing about 95% of the work, she was doing 5%. Not a good balance!
All of this has been tough on our marriage, too.
It has helped me tremendously to understand I cannot help my DD. I must let life bring her lessons.
Glad you are on the site. Keep posting.