The quick intro. My BPD ex fiancee abandoned our relationship, moved straight in with an old boyfriend across country, is no contact with me. She was supposed to be maid of honor in her best friend's wedding, a couple with whom we were both very close, doing all the couple things together. The friend has been amazing to me, basically kept me from going insane the first month. We are now two months out. The friend has sicne told her she cannot be maid of honor, is no longer invited to the wedding, etc. But my ex still calls and texts her, which has kept her in the middle of us. I have resolved to make today the last day I harass her about any of this, but she is definitely in need of her own grieving process and I do not know what to do for her. I have explained BPD to her and she was firsthand witness to the sudden, seemingly reasonless nature of the breakup. Any advice?
In my opinion, the only thing you can do is give her this site, books and explain no contact.
We can only help ourselves. We can share our tools and what has helped us, but the bottom line is that we all do what we want to get our own results based on our own actions.
Nobody can be in the middle unless they decide to be there.
Rifka
