Daughter, almost 16

[Parents! Get help here!]

I came here from googling for information on Borderline Personality Disorder.  My daughter will be 16 in a couple of weeks.  Right now she's on her third hospitalization and they will probably keep her another week.  She has not got the official DX but her therapist in the hospital is sure she has it.  When I search the axis numbers from her last DX in January it seems to be saying she has it.  Has a poor prognosis for personal relationships or keeping a job.  She has all of the behaviors listed.  Drugs, sex, running away, cutting, raging, destruction, theft and mayhem.  Like most here I've been through the wringer since she was three years old but it got so much worse in the past year and a half.  Right now I'm trying to find a way to obtain residential treatment for the next two years.  She needs to be gone from our household due to the danger to two  brothers.   I'm so fried I've forgotten what my user name is now.

[beach glass]

I came here from googling for information on Borderline Personality Disorder.  My daughter will be 16 in a couple of weeks.  Right now she's on her third hospitalization and they will probably keep her another week.  She has not got the official DX but her therapist in the hospital is sure she has it.  When I search the axis numbers from her last DX in January it seems to be saying she has it.  Has a poor prognosis for personal relationships or keeping a job.  She has all of the behaviors listed.  Drugs, sex, running away, cutting, raging, destruction, theft and mayhem.  Like most here I've been through the wringer since she was three years old but it got so much worse in the past year and a half.  Right now I'm trying to find a way to obtain residential treatment for the next two years.  She needs to be gone from our household due to the danger to two  brothers.   I'm so fried I've forgotten what my user name is now.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[beach glass]

Oh.  There's the user name.  Beach Glass.  A happy thought.  But Beach Glass is really just litter.

[hope2727]

 

Beach Glass is broken pieces of other peoples discarded waste, polished smooth by its journey through the world, it is turned into rare and valued treasure. I have a tiny piece I have carried for years. It is beautiful and precious to me.

I am sorry you are enduring this. I am sorry for your daughter too. Please don't give up on yourself. You have been enduring trauma. You need gentle, healing, supportive care. Do you have a therapist for yourself? I highly recommend one. I also recommend the expensive ice cream. It helps immensely.

The people here are truly wonderful. They will have many experiences to share with you. I can only tell you that you are hurting and in need of care. Please do not give up.

 

[Kwamina]

Hi beach glass

Welcome to bpdfamily

BPD is quite a challenging disorder and raising a child with BPD can take quite a toll on all family-members involved. Many of our members know what it's like to have a child with this disorder and will be able to relate to you.

I came here from googling for information on Borderline Personality Disorder.  My daughter will be 16 in a couple of weeks.  Right now she's on her third hospitalization and they will probably keep her another week.

I am very sorry to hear your daughter is in hospital. What happened that led up to this last hospitalization? And why was she hospitalized the two previous times?

She has not got the official DX but her therapist in the hospital is sure she has it.  When I search the axis numbers from her last DX in January it seems to be saying she has it.  Has a poor prognosis for personal relationships or keeping a job.  She has all of the behaviors listed.  :)rugs, sex, running away, cutting, raging, destruction, theft and mayhem.

Was this the first time you heard of BPD when her therapist in the hospital told you about this disorder?

Like most here I've been through the wringer since she was three years old but it got so much worse in the past year and a half.  Right now I'm trying to find a way to obtain residential treatment for the next two years.  She needs to be gone from our household due to the danger to two  brothers.   I'm so fried I've forgotten what my user name is now.

You mention she's a danger to her two brothers. Do you mean that her behavior might negatively affect them or has she also directly tried to hurt them or perhaps threatened to?

To get a better understanding of what's going on with your daughter and how best to deal with her, I suggest you take a look at the lessons and tools to the right of this message board. Take care

[lbjnltx]

Hello beach glass

We are glad that you found us!

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is so ill and her illness has been so hard on you and your family.  As a parent to a child dx at age 12 w/emerging BPD/traits of BPD I can identify with feeling like you have been pushed through a wash wringer.

Coming here and reading, posting, and learning about the disorder and communication skills was the beginning of the turning point for ME and eventually my daughter. 

You wrote that you are looking for long term inpatient care, what level of care does the hospital recommend for your daughter?  Acute clinical?  Are you looking for a DBT based program?

The search for inpatient care can be daunting and it is so very very important to choose well.  Family involvement is one of the key factors to progress for your d and yourself.

I look forward to learning more about you and your family so that I can be a source of support for you.

lbj

[livednlearned]

Hi beach glass,

I'm glad you found the site. Thank you google  

Having a loved one with BPD can drain energy from the whole family. As a friend of mine likes to say, when one person is ill, the whole family feels ill. I didn't fully understand that until I began to feel a tiny sliver of empowerment, just sharing my story and hearing what others were going through, often so much the same it's as though we can finish each other's sentences. When I started to feel better, I started to make small changes that had a big impact on my family, and we started to take the first steps toward a long journey toward healthier behavior.

Coming here is about filling your cup. It will happen slowly at first, and then next thing you know you'll look down and it will be full enough to make some changes. I never knew how truly hard change was until confronted with it. But that's when things can start to get better. They won't be great right away, but they will get better. The Lessons here are great, as Kwamina pointed out. I keep reading them over and over, going back again and again, learning more each time I do.

In the meantime, I hope you feel that you have a group of people in your corner, pulling for you and your daughter, and your whole family.

I look forward to learning more about how you are doing.

LnL