Like clockwork

[LuckyEscapee]

Like clockwork up he turns.

My relationship with my uBPD ex ended 3 years ago, and I have been NC for well over 2 yrs. he has a new life, new children, but still he pops up.

He uses my public corporate email address, and makes up a new email every time to bypass my blocks. I won't respond. That man is poison to my system, and now I am free of it I won't ever go near him, not for a split second 

This time he is back in my town for a few days, her to visit his sick cousin, who he is close to and he said she had had brain bleeding.

Advice please - is he telling me to re-engage me, or as a courtesy in case I bump into him? I know I would be strong if I did see him, but would rather not.

I haven't received any further messages, so hopefully that is it, but I hope the opportunity of being in town without his partner doesn't trigger him coming to my work, or similar.

I am thinking, 1) he rarely goes out of his way with any effort, 2) he knows I don't want anything to do with him, so he won't have any feelgood if he did, 3) he is busy with his sick relative.

Thoughts?

[fromheeltoheal]

I got an email from my ex recently, whom I haven't heard from in a couple of years, and I deleted it without reading it.  It was actually cool in that her name showed up in my inbox list of emails and I had no emotional reaction at all, just kind of a "that's weird, will she never give up?"

To me there's no sense in trying to parse his words and find meaning between the lines; your emotional energy and time are more valuable than that.  You mention you'd be strong if you saw him, so I'd stick with that and let it go; you don't sound like you'll be looking over your shoulder while he's in town, so be done with it and move on.  Take care of you!

[LuckyEscapee]

Thank you fromheeltoheal, you are right, but it helps to hear it independently.

I moved on some years ago, but him emailing my work (again), him being close to my workplace wasn't a nice thought, but hey you are right. What does it matter? He has the affliction, not me!

In fact, who is to say he is even telling the truth? I went through hell and much of it was ranting lies.

Whatever, wherever, I'm happy and my life is beautifully calm 

[Infared]

There is no possible way to know what they are actually thinking or why they are disrespecting you by contacting you.  One thing you can count on is that it is all about "them".  At least that would be my repeated experience. It's no longer our responsibility to wonder or care about what their reasons or motives are.  After all the lies of course you doubt, or find suspect anything this person says to you. Also, like mine, you do not have contact from this person in years and it looks to me like he is trying to approach you as the victim, which is their preferred method to try to hook us again.  

You sound pretty strong. Also, if by chance you "run-in" to this person, do not take it at face value that it was accidental.   Mine has orchestrated accidental run-ins.  I have been "on my toes" and been able to move away and avoid contact. Nothing good would come of that for me. It definitely effects me emotionally, but after what I went through, all I can do is take care of me... .anything else would be insanity on my part.  It makes my sad ... .but I just have to move past that and love me.   

I understand how you feel.