I am 6+ months post-b/u and started seeing a therapist abt 2 months ago. I am frustrated by what feels like the meandering-ness of the process. I believe it has value but am not sure it is a good fit for me at this time.
I see my own "internal, mini-BPD" self reflected back at me thru my r/s with my UexBPDbf, i.e., my own push/pull tendencies in all of my romantic r/s's (in the book "Attached" I scored 6/6/6 on secure, anxious, and avoidant style of attachment); likewise, I can get angry very easily; I also go from loving/hating my partner easily and quickly. Thankfully, I don't act it out like my ex did and maintain meaningful and long-term relationships. My sister was a bit horrified when I told her this and said I am NOT BPD. I do not think I am.
And yet, my pwBPD r/s feels like an invitation to look deeply and honestly at myself and improve. I do not feel like I am making tracks with my therapist. Has anyone done any online DBT? Seems like if it can help the dBPD, then surely it can help me too. It seems to offer a great selection of life skills.
Would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. Thanks!
I can't offer any advice about online DBT, but I can tell you that I understand your frustration - I wanted to "get on with it" in therapy as well!
2 months is not a very long time at
all. Do you like/connect with your therapist?
They say that the real work of therapy doesn't happen until you're about a year in - it takes time to build a r/s with your therapist. I know I now talk to mine about things that either: a. I wasn't aware of at two months in, or b. I didn't yet trust her enough to tell her at two months in.
I am 10 months into it and I feel like the real work is just now beginning. Hang in there - it's well worth the time and effort.
