waverider
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407
If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
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« on: June 27, 2015, 06:43:43 PM » |
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When I first came here life was very bad, extremes of BPD behaviors and alcoholism and medication abuse. No diagnosis, then denial following when it was diagnosed. Worked our way through accepting a diagnosis, which resulted in endless overdoses and paramedic call outs, intakes to alcohol detox units. Thanks to being here we worked through this and alcohol issue has been gone for 2 years now, free of medication abuse and ODs, for a year. During the last two years we have also had to deal with stage 3C breast cancer, mastectomy,chemo and radiotherapy, which was very testing for such a fragile state of mind We have lived together for about 8 years through all this. Marriage was off the cards for me until such time as these dramas and uncertainties were happening. Still very low functioning with plenty of BPD thinking and needy behavior, but there is minimal conflict or aggression between us. I have learned so much, not only dealing with BPD, but personal self confidence and interacting with others in general has greatly improved. Just posting here taught me to freely express my thoughts and take on board having those thoughts being challenged As I have regularly advised clarifying why you do what you do, what you can affect, and what you can't then making a choice is the key to thriving rather than just surviving. I feel more in control of my life than i probably ever have been. Frustrations are seen for what they are, temporary obstacles not brick walls. Happiness does not depending on a cure, i can live with a little harmless craziness, it makes life interesting. Today I am putting my money were my mouth is and we are getting married in a couple of hours. It is a confirmation to the commitment that I will be there for her until the end. This would not have been possible if not for bpdfamily.com and all the supportive folks that pass through here  Thanks Waverider |
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 Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
 This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
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KateCat
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« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2015, 06:52:32 PM » |
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This is just extraordinary, waverider.
Congratulations to both of you. And thank you for the challenging wisdom and maturity of your contributions to this community. There's no telling how many positive ripples in the force your thoughts here have provided us.
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123Phoebe
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« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2015, 06:54:13 PM » |
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Congratulations Waverider! I am so happy for you both and wish you the very best! Yay! |
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GaGrl
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« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2015, 09:00:41 PM » |
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Outstanding! Very best wishes.
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  "...what's past is prologue; what to come, In yours and my discharge." |
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townhouse
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 184
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« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2015, 09:06:04 PM » |
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Congratulations.
Very happy for you both
Regards
Townhouse
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Daniell85
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« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2015, 09:24:06 PM » |
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Congratulations  |
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Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12183
Dad to my wolf pack
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« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2015, 09:36:11 PM » |
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Congratulations, waverider! Not only in perservering, but also working on your side to make things better. That's a great success story for you and your wife.
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|  | | “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling |
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willemina
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated
Posts: 22
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« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2015, 09:40:31 PM » |
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Congratulations Waverider! This is wonderful news, I believe very strongly in marriage and may God bless the union of you two and those who are praying for the same, like myself
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vortex of confusion
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« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2015, 10:03:15 PM » |
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Congratulations!
And thank you for passing on so much wisdom!
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bluejeans
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Committed relationship for almost 9 years. We were officially broken up for 3 months a couple of years ago.
Posts: 92
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« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2015, 10:50:39 PM » |
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Congratulations!
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Scarlet Phoenix
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Relationship status: Together 9 years
Posts: 1155
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« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2015, 03:49:39 AM » |
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Congratulations Waverider! Have a happy, happy day!
And thank you for all your good advice!
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~~ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again ... and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly ~~ Become who you are ~~
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Lifewriter16
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« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2015, 04:18:56 AM » |
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Wow! Congratulations and best wishes for your future.
Keep posting... .
Lifewriter
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waverider
Retired Staff
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407
If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
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« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2015, 05:21:39 AM » |
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Jobs done  Now theres a Mrs Waverider Thanks for your kind words everyone |
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Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
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babyducks
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« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2015, 07:34:53 AM » |
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I'm late to the party but here are my heartfelt congratulations also !
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 What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. |
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Kwamina
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« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2015, 07:43:01 AM » |
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Jobs done Now theres a Mrs Waverider Thanks for your kind words everyone Congratulations to the Waveriders! |
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Oh, give me liberty! For even were paradise my prison, still I should long to leap the crystal walls.
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maxsterling
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« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2015, 09:58:26 AM » |
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Wow, congrats! Your attitude is a great inspiration to me |
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mindwise
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2015, 11:21:40 AM » |
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Congratulations! All the best for the future |
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Grey Kitty
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« Reply #17 on: June 28, 2015, 12:38:43 PM » |
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Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Waverider
I wish both of you the best.
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Oooohm
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married 22 years, 12 good....10 not so good
Posts: 96
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« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2015, 02:19:36 PM » |
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Big "THUMBS UP icon" !
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still_in_shock
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 105
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« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2015, 02:33:51 PM » |
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You are an extraordinary person that you've stayed through so much (BPD and breast cancer). Congratulations and wish you both a long, happy and healthy life.
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Stalwart
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Relationship status: Married
Posts: 333
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« Reply #20 on: June 28, 2015, 03:06:46 PM » |
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an0ught
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Relationship status: married
Posts: 5048
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« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2015, 03:37:20 PM » |
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Glad you came so far Waverider for your wife and you I wish you all the best including some dark and also Grey days. The mix that defines your personal normal life that is perfectly right for both of you. |
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 Writing is self validation. Writing on bpdfamily is self validation squared!
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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2015, 05:37:54 PM » |
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Congratulations! You are an inspiration! Hugs to you and Mrs. Waverider.
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“The Four Agreements 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Don’t make assumptions. 4. Always do your best. ” ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
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EaglesJuju
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« Reply #23 on: June 29, 2015, 10:57:44 AM » |
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Congratulations Waverider! I am very happy for the both of you.
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"In order to take control of our lives and accomplish something of lasting value, sooner or later we need to Believe. We simply need to believe in the power that is within us, and use it." -Benjamin Hoff
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Mustbeabetterway
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« Reply #24 on: June 29, 2015, 12:38:49 PM » |
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Inspiring! Congratulations... .
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ColdEthyl
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« Reply #25 on: June 29, 2015, 05:19:40 PM » |
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Congratulations, Waverider! I know when I first came here... .I was wreck, too. But, I found support here like no other, and you were the very first person who said things in such a simpler, direct way that helped me in my own marriage I wish you nothing but the best of wishes in the days and years to come! Bless you and your wife! |
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sweetheart
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« Reply #26 on: June 30, 2015, 04:08:20 AM » |
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I hope you and your new wife had a lovely day.
Thank you for all your insightful comments and support on this forum, which I have found really helpful over the last couple of years.
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waverider
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407
If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
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« Reply #27 on: June 30, 2015, 07:09:08 AM » |
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Heading off for 10 days in a surf beach front cabin on friday  Middle of winter here though so could be a bit fresh |
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Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
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Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
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