Hi desertmom15
Sorry to hear about this unpleasant situation with your mom. I find it quite concerning that she told your 2 sons all sorts of nasty things about you which caused them to become upset.
No matter what you decide to do, whether you move or not, when it comes to dealing with your mother it seems setting and enforcing boundaries will be a very important thing to do. This to protect your own well-being and also that of your children. Do you feel setting and enforcing boundaries with your mother is something you are comfortable with doing? Perhaps you can benefit from taking a look at some material we have here about boundaries:
Getting Our Values and Boundaries in OrderExamples of boundariesWhen we speak of “boundaries” we are really speaking about our personal values. This point is often overlooked. Personal boundaries are simply one way we define our values to others. Let’s start there.
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Boundaries are how we define our values to others. A boundary is nothing more than the outer perimeters of our independent core values - it's like a fence - anything inside the boundary is consistent with our core values and anything outside the boundary is not. For example, if your independent core value is "always to be respectful of others" a boundary question might be "would abruptly walking out of the room when someone says something offensive be inside or outside of your definition of this value?" It's not always obvious as we all see things differently. As you can quickly see, with values, we have a significant responsibility to lead, educate and inform others - we must walk the walk, have effective communication and be consistent.
Take care and I hope you'll find this helpful
