Ex Cut and Run, Child Support

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My attorneys grilled my ex on the stand for almost an hour on why she "cut and run" she just pretended to cry and said I don't know I'm sorry I did it. They are masters at lying. You'll never know. She is trying her best to call me now . But only because she is ordered to pay me child support. I went for over a year thinking she was happy and having fun while I was miserable. She wasn't. She was broke, homeless and without a job. Good for her. Oh and even started a gofundme . She even lied about falling in the shower. Sickening.







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[hurting300]

My attorneys grilled my ex on the stand for almost an hour on why she "cut and run" she just pretended to cry and said I don't know I'm sorry I did it. They are masters at lying. You'll never know. She is trying her best to call me now . But only because she is ordered to pay me child support. I went for over a year thinking she was happy and having fun while I was miserable. She wasn't. She was broke, homeless and without a job. Good for her. Oh and even started a gofundme . She even lied about falling in the shower. Sickening.







This thread was split from: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=279108.0;all

[JRT]

My attorneys grilled my ex on the stand for almost an hour on why she "cut and run" she just pretended to cry and said I don't know I'm sorry I did it. They are masters at lying. You'll never know. She is trying her best to call me now . But only because she is ordered to pay me child support. I went for over a year thinking she was happy and having fun while I was miserable. She wasn't. She was broke, homeless and without a job. Good for her. Oh and even started a gofundme . She even lied about falling in the shower. Sickening.

Man, I would be VERY interested in hear more regarding what she said in court about her cut and run. Do you figure that she was sincere when she insisted that she didn't know? As if she had no control? Was she sincerely remorseful?

[ShadowIntheNight]

My attorneys grilled my ex on the stand for almost an hour on why she "cut and run" she just pretended to cry and said I don't know I'm sorry I did it. They are masters at lying. You'll never know. She is trying her best to call me now . But only because she is ordered to pay me child support. I went for over a year thinking she was happy and having fun while I was miserable. She wasn't. She was broke, homeless and without a job. Good for her. Oh and even started a gofundme . She even lied about falling in the shower. Sickening.

Interesting. It will be 11 months for me that my uBPDexgf has been gone. I assume because she hasn't called to speak to me that she is having fun and is completely and totally happy with her brand new life, which is really the old life she ran way from 10 years ago, but I digress.

So convinced am I that she is happy and that is why I haven't heard from her except a hangup call appx every other week, that I am enraged by her gall.

I was telling a friend just this evening that I doubt she ever thinks of me. The friend insists I'm wrong. But she doesn't miss me to the point of wanting to speak to me.

I'm pretty sure my ex wouldn't cry if she got on a court stand. But I do know the last time she was on one, a year ago against her exH in a custody battle, she got her ears slapped back. She, however, prior to the judges ruling, was convinced she had won the day.

I vacillate between thinking the weird hang ups are from her or not. But until last September I hadn't had any odd numbers dialing my home and upon me picking up and saying hello, I got hung up on. I've had over 20, which by my calculations, comes to about every other week that she's phoning me.

After I've put it into that context, I see that she's been thinking about me quite a bit. But why she doesn't speak is the strange part. It would go a long way in reducing some of my anger. And until that happens I haven't taken off the table the idea of taking her to court for repayment of all the money and items she got from me in a 10 year relationship. It's quite a bit.

[hurting300]

Lol no she was trying to put on a show for the judge. The judge and attorneys saw thru it. We had her diaries and other note books she wrote in. She was going to lose that day. And I hate to admit this but I loved every minute of her and her family getting grilled on the stand. She was not sincere. And our psychologist explained why she acted the way she did. The judge also ordered a psychological evaluation for her. She will not see this baby again until she gets therapy. I DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR HER.

[Hadlee]

hurting300 - I've followed your story.  Just wanted to chime in and say how happy I am to hear that you have your baby back.  Well done

[hurting300]

hurting300 - I've followed your story.  Just wanted to chime in and say how happy I am to hear that you have your baby back.  Well done

evil can never win. In the end good will always prevail.

[rotiroti]

hurting300 - I've followed your story.  Just wanted to chime in and say how happy I am to hear that you have your baby back.  Well done

evil can never win. In the end good will always prevail.

Hurting, congratulations on the victory!

The following post you wrote is sad but true. They've tried but the illness always seems to win. Heck that's why this board is filled with similar stories!

"Guys I can't speak for every BPD/npd. But they are never happy. Ever. They are sad with guilt and shame... .They know deep down they are no good. And it eats at them. Yes they tried to love us. But... .The illness took over. It always does."

[hurting300]

I truly and deeply believe that it depends on who your with. My ex punished me. She knew full well what she was doing. The experts spoke on what and why she did these things and the effects it has on us. Just heal yourself. Don't concern yourself with them as hard as it is. Just leave them to there own demise .

[hurting300]

Oh and she said on the witness stand "hurting300" is stalking me and looking up my profiles. The judge stopped her and said "maybe you should grow up and face your actions" and the attorneys showed proof SHE was the one driving by  my house. Of course I tried finding her she ran away with my kid! I'm holding my child right now as I'm typing this. She didn't win this time. My baby don't even remember me now. We are starting over though. I'm happy now... I was finally able to defend myself.

[ShadowIntheNight]

Oh and she said on the witness stand "hurting300" is stalking me and looking up my profiles. The judge stopped her and said "maybe you should grow up and face your actions" and the attorneys showed proof SHE was the one driving by  my house. Of course I tried finding her she ran away with my kid! I'm holding my child right now as I'm typing this. She didn't win this time. My baby don't even remember me now. We are starting over though. I'm happy now... I was finally able to defend myself.

So happy for you. I hope she gets some serious help. Maybe maturity will help too. I remember your story from earlier this year. Take care of ur baby and yourself. The baby will bond with you soon enough.

Do u mind if I DM you about something re what ur experts said about her?

Thanks.

[hurting300]

Oh and she said on the witness stand "hurting300" is stalking me and looking up my profiles. The judge stopped her and said "maybe you should grow up and face your actions" and the attorneys showed proof SHE was the one driving by  my house. Of course I tried finding her she ran away with my kid! I'm holding my child right now as I'm typing this. She didn't win this time. My baby don't even remember me now. We are starting over though. I'm happy now... I was finally able to defend myself.

So happy for you. I hope she gets some serious help. Maybe maturity will help too. I remember your story from earlier this year. Take care of ur baby and yourself. The baby will bond with you soon enough.

Do u mind if I DM you about something re what ur experts said about her?

Thanks.

sure you can...

[once removed]

hey hurting300,

im glad youre doing better, and im happy that things went your way in court.

can you see where you may be engaging in some black and white thinking on your end? do you feel this is helping your recovery?

[hurting300]

hey hurting300,

im glad youre doing better, and im happy that things went your way in court.

can you see where you may be engaging in some black and white thinking on your end? do you feel this is helping your recovery?

sure I can. She tortured me for over a year with silence. So I'm angry with her thoughtless actions. As for my recovery I'm getting much better, I have my child back and weight has been lifted off my chest. She knew full well what she was doing and the main thing with the ruling is a personality disorder can't be used as an insanity defense because you know right from wrong. I'm sorry she had a terrible childhood i really am. I wanted to help her so bad. But she chose this path knowing what would happen.

[once removed]

thats good that you can see it. it will be useful. none of that is to say i dont understand and feel your pain. the silent treatment is not something i ever experienced, but ive read countless stories on its devastating effect. im very sorry you experienced it. your anger is valid, and i would never try to take that away from you.

im also glad your recovery is going well, and that you have your child back. im thrilled for you. thats another thing i dont have; children, but i imagine that its a huge weight lifted off your chest.

im not a legal expert, although i have a father for a lawyer, and i know a personality disorder is not an insanity defense. youre coming from a place of personal experience and understanding, though. a personality disorder can make right of wrong. that doesnt make it okay, it doesnt condone it, it just helps understand it.

and youre right that she chose her path. trying to help was noble of you. the fact may be that this person must hit rock bottom before things get better. im sure you understand that. its a very sad reality.

i wish you further healing in your process. i know none of this is easy  

[hurting300]

thats good that you can see it. it will be useful. none of that is to say i dont understand and feel your pain. the silent treatment is not something i ever experienced, but ive read countless stories on its devastating effect. im very sorry you experienced it. your anger is valid, and i would never try to take that away from you.

im also glad your recovery is going well, and that you have your child back. im thrilled for you. thats another thing i dont have; children, but i imagine that its a huge weight lifted off your chest.

im not a legal expert, although i have a father for a lawyer, and i know a personality disorder is not an insanity defense. youre coming from a place of personal experience and understanding, though. a personality disorder can make right of wrong. that doesnt make it okay, it doesnt condone it, it just helps understand it.

and youre right that she chose her path. trying to help was noble of you. the fact may be that this person must hit rock bottom before things get better. im sure you understand that. its a very sad reality.

i wish you further healing in your process. i know none of this is easy  

hey pal, trust me I cried in the bathroom many times during court. You have no idea how scared I was to look at her. It was seriously scary. Because before the court date, the last time I seen her was when she kissed me goodbye for work and said I love you. Then she disappeared taking our baby. I almost passed out when my baby was brought to me. She looked so different... .She talked to me. I just feel like this nightmare is over. And deep down, I don't hate my ex.

[Infared]

Congrats Hurting300... .it's so good to hear a positive outcome from one of these lopsided, abusive relationships.  I hope that this is some vindication for all you have endured at the hands of a disordered individual.

Aren't they the greatest play-actors. Glad that the crocodile tears were seen through.  My ex manipulated most when she ran off with replacement, playing victim.  I never got any vindication, just silence or blame For her lying, cheating and abandonment... .so it brightens my day that you had this outcome, especially with a little one in the mix! Happy bonding.

[hurting300]

Congrats Hurting300... .it's so good to hear a positive outcome from one of these lopsided, abusive relationships.  I hope that this is some vindication for all you have endured at the hands of a disordered individual.

Aren't they the greatest play-actors. Glad that the crocodile tears were seen through.  My ex manipulated most when she ran off with replacement, playing victim.  I never got any vindication, just silence or blame For her lying, cheating and abandonment... .so it brightens my day that you had this outcome, especially with a little one in the mix! Happy bonding.

well I mean she disappeared. She had no stable home. The judge those two reasons alone were enough to pull custody away from her. But he also said in his statement (any person that can act as if life with there partner is perfect then vanish into thin air and not give word to the abandoned party for a year is a person without any type of conscience) the court heard hours of testimony Mainly from my people. But I had to take breaks... .Because every time I'd look at her I'd fall to pieces. She acted sad and embarrassed mainly. The court system is fair. She just left a lot of damaging evidence behind and I proved she pretended we were fine. She tried saying I was abusive and controlling that's why she ran off. But thank god for saved text messages! Thank god for saved recordings! She almost got charged with perjury. She lost. Evil and wrong will never ever prevail. Stand strong.