Are you a mentor or working to become one?

[Sadly]

Put myself in crisis group. Nowhere near mentoring. I love this place though, it's mint.
I do try to help though, and sometimes I make people laugh.
Love from
Sadly x

[marti644]

Great thread Skip,

In general I have nothing but good things to say about the forum. Generally speaking, everyone is super compassionate and understanding.

I am still a novice here, but I am finding that more and more the key to the healing process is helping new members and listening to the older ones. Sometimes the advice I give or others gives doesn't come from the right place, and I have been known to bash "BPDs" a time or too. But overall I don't think that this is a major problem. Someone always steps in and most of the forums I have used have been super helpful on a number of levels.

One suggestion to help avoid bashing is to looking closer in the discussions at the outcomes of those with BPD. Putting a human side to their long-term suffering and early trauma has sure made me much more sympathetic to my BPD-ex.

Sometimes I think we focus too much on what they did to us, and less on what they have done to themselves and will continue to do to themselves if they move on (the balance between these two things is tricky of course). In the ":)ealing with the end of a BPD relationship" board more perspectives like this in the actual discussions would help I think, especially for members who have been involved for over a month or so, who start seeing that blaming the BPD for the whole relationship is not a conducive path to healing.

Not sure if this is possible but just a thought.

[lovenature]

Hey Sadly, you have helped others more than you know and give yourself credit for, and along the way you have been helping yourself too.
Keep going one day at a time.

[SinisterComplex]

I had no choice, but to respond and say I hope I have helped others on this forum in my short time here. I joined because it has been a catalyst to get me going toward using my education, knowledge, experience, and passion to help others. Additionally, at some point moving forward I am hoping to get my own blog started and perhaps make a side job of it as an online mentor/life coach with the intent to change lives in a positive manner one life at a time.

Anyway, thanks for bumping this Skip.

Cheers!

-SC-

[mama-wolf]

I really struggled with what to put for my vote, so I went with Other.  I have responded to a few members' posts--not so much lately, but earlier in my journey--and I think I have done so with a pretty high level of understanding of the psychological concepts and a balanced/mature approach.

Just as often...or maybe more often...I find myself in a space of crisis and ongoing emotional turmoil, so I am in no position to mentor anyone.  During those times, I know I can't do much more than offer a little validation of someone else's experience.  I still try that sometimes, but other times I just avoid the board (not the best approach).

But there have been a few times when I have posted during my darker, more painful moments and my own post has gone for days with no response.  Intellectually, I know there are a myriad of reasons for why that might be which have nothing to do with me or my post.  It takes a lot of effort for me to move beyond the intellectualization and acknowledge that this doesn't change the fact that I am still left feeling disappointed and alone.

I keep coming back to the board because I know its value.  I know I need the support of this community, and I want to get to the point where I can consistently contribute more to it myself.  Ongoing contact with my uBPDxw due to co-parenting two kids makes it really difficult to make progress with healing, but I'm clawing my way down that path regardless.

mw

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