60% chance they are cheaters ~

[Lostone1314]

Terrible looking for answers on net as to why women cheat with no remorse and found this doesn't make my future in finding a loyal partner very good :-(

www.nypost.com/2003/07/13/why-we-cheat-women-doing-it-more-and-feeling-less-guilty/

[zundertowz]

The statistics about cheating doesn't really surprise me... .I have read lots of places that over 50 percent of men or women cheat at some point or another, which is why I never really obsessed on the cheating of my ex... .what's disturbing is in the article it says 90 percent of women have no remorse about cheating... .so there's basically a ton of people out there who will cheat no problem without remorse and it doesn't make them BPD... .that's why I have always tried to focus on all the other crazy stuff that went on.  Depressing indeed!

[Lostone1314]

Agreed I'm having doubts my ex is BPD in any case she is a ___ty person as are the 90% in the article. Crazy we give them attention ect and were to clingy and smothering we pull back and were not attentive enough what the heck !  The article says that 70% found their affair partner better then their husbands and yet only 25% married or entered Rs with affair partner another crazy contradiction... honestly humanity has lost the plot or I'm on wrong planet... perhaps if we can't beat them we should join them and all become cheats... do away with monogamy,marriage,families

[zundertowz]

Agreed I'm having doubts my ex is BPD in any case she is aty person as are the 90% in the article. Crazy we give them attention ect and were to clingy and smothering we pull back and were not attentive enough what the heck !  The article says that 70% found their affair partner better then their husbands and yet only 25% married or entered Rs with affair partner another crazy contradiction... honestly humanity has lost the plot or I'm on wrong planet... perhaps if we can't beat them we should join them and all become cheats... do away with monogamy,marriage,families

I often wonder if a lot of peoples exes on here were just crappy people who lacked empathy rather than BPD.  Anyways this post is exactly what i'm struggling with the most... .the lack of humanity we seem to have in the world these days... .seems like a long shot in finding a loyal honest mate these days, while the crappy people enjoy there drama filled lives having no problems hurting people.  I always here on these boards that these people are not happy and are not enjoying themselves I don't always believe that to be the case.

[Lostone1314]

Agreed I'm having doubts my ex is BPD in any case she is aty person as are the 90% in the article. Crazy we give them attention ect and were to clingy and smothering we pull back and were not attentive enough what the heck !  The article says that 70% found their affair partner better then their husbands and yet only 25% married or entered Rs with affair partner another crazy contradiction... honestly humanity has lost the plot or I'm on wrong planet... perhaps if we can't beat them we should join them and all become cheats... do away with monogamy,marriage,families

I often wonder if a lot of peoples exes on here were just crappy people who lacked empathy rather than BPD.  Anyways this post is exactly what i'm struggling with the most... .the lack of humanity we seem to have in the world these days... .seems like a long shot in finding a loyal honest mate these days, while the crappy people enjoy there drama filled lives having no problems hurting people.  I always here on these boards that these people are not happy and are not enjoying themselves I don't always believe that to be the case.

exactly what good is my integrity,honor & self respect if im only a handful of people practising it... clearly my ex is happy with my replacement despite having committed infidelity multiple times,despite her alcoholic binges,despite knowingly and conciously hurting me...

TBH if ever i get the chance to do as she did im not so sure ill hold back this time as ive done in past... perhaps all this "good person stuff"  is of no value anymore in todays and our future societies... im 50 ive been nothing short of "good person" all my life and its got me knowhere... .ive been cheated on twice... lost my children for ten years from first marriage and now im utterly alone with no single friends or family members to socialize with ... i got work i come home i stare at cieling wondering where in life i went so horribly wrong then i try to sleep i get up i goto work and the day repeats... i doubt i can live like this for the next 20 years or so

[workinprogress]

Agreed I'm having doubts my ex is BPD in any case she is aty person as are the 90% in the article. Crazy we give them attention ect and were to clingy and smothering we pull back and were not attentive enough what the heck !  The article says that 70% found their affair partner better then their husbands and yet only 25% married or entered Rs with affair partner another crazy contradiction... honestly humanity has lost the plot or I'm on wrong planet... perhaps if we can't beat them we should join them and all become cheats... do away with monogamy,marriage,families

I often wonder if a lot of peoples exes on here were just crappy people who lacked empathy rather than BPD.  Anyways this post is exactly what i'm struggling with the most... .the lack of humanity we seem to have in the world these days... .seems like a long shot in finding a loyal honest mate these days, while the crappy people enjoy there drama filled lives having no problems hurting people.  I always here on these boards that these people are not happy and are not enjoying themselves I don't always believe that to be the case.

exactly what good is my integrity,honor & self respect if im only a handful of people practising it... clearly my ex is happy with my replacement despite having committed infidelity multiple times,despite her alcoholic binges,despite knowingly and conciously hurting me...

TBH if ever i get the chance to do as she did im not so sure ill hold back this time as ive done in past..perhaps all this "good person stuff"  is of no value anymore in todays and our future societies... im 50 ive been nothing short of "good person" all my life and its got me knowhere... .ive been cheated on twice... lost my children for ten years from first marriage and now im utterly alone with no single friends or family members to socialize with ... i got work i come home i stare at cieling wondering where in life i went so horribly wrong then i try to sleep i get up i goto work and the day repeats... i doubt i can live like this for the next 20 years or so

Don't cheat.  I held out for 10 years during a virtually sexless marriage (2 to 4 times per year).  Meanwhile, I would hear about her propositioning other guys.  It was horrible.  Through it all I had my integrity and my self respect.  Well, when I was at a low point I had one of her friends practically stalk me and I could not resist the attention after years of neglect.  I fell into a brief affair.  I have hated it ever sense.  I just don't feel the same about myself.  Plus, after 5 1/2 years my wife still hasn't forgiven me for it.    Considering her behavior I find this laughable.

So, keep your integrity.  Also, don't overestimate your ability to resist when being heavily pursued like I did.

[zundertowz]

Agreed I'm having doubts my ex is BPD in any case she is aty person as are the 90% in the article. Crazy we give them attention ect and were to clingy and smothering we pull back and were not attentive enough what the heck !  The article says that 70% found their affair partner better then their husbands and yet only 25% married or entered Rs with affair partner another crazy contradiction... honestly humanity has lost the plot or I'm on wrong planet... perhaps if we can't beat them we should join them and all become cheats... do away with monogamy,marriage,families

I often wonder if a lot of peoples exes on here were just crappy people who lacked empathy rather than BPD.  Anyways this post is exactly what i'm struggling with the most... .the lack of humanity we seem to have in the world these days... .seems like a long shot in finding a loyal honest mate these days, while the crappy people enjoy there drama filled lives having no problems hurting people.  I always here on these boards that these people are not happy and are not enjoying themselves I don't always believe that to be the case.

exactly what good is my integrity,honor & self respect if im only a handful of people practising it... clearly my ex is happy with my replacement despite having committed infidelity multiple times,despite her alcoholic binges,despite knowingly and conciously hurting me...

TBH if ever i get the chance to do as she did im not so sure ill hold back this time as ive done in past... perhaps all this "good person stuff"  is of no value anymore in todays and our future societies... im 50 ive been nothing short of "good person" all my life and its got me knowhere... .ive been cheated on twice... lost my children for ten years from first marriage and now im utterly alone with no single friends or family members to socialize with ... i got work i come home i stare at cieling wondering where in life i went so horribly wrong then i try to sleep i get up i goto work and the day repeats... i doubt i can live like this for the next 20 years or so

Wow I'm pretty much in the exact same situation... .I'm close to 40 have been burned multiple times and now pretty much work and stare at the walls... .I'm sure our lack of social life has jaded us but I don't think I have it in me too have no empathy and hurt someone... .it just bothers me that those people are having a whole hell of alot more fun than I am.  Like I have already said BPDs relationships may end in a mess but that doesn't mean that there not enjoying themselves at any point... .why would we be so hung up on our exes if there wasn't any good times?

[Lostone1314]

not hung on her but the dream i was sold... with the article above and my dream now shattered ive lost all hope in ever imagining that dream letalone attaining it & @50 ive little time remaining... i dont look any more but when i did my ex had taken on board all of my replacements friends and she is having a ball with his constant and relentless adoration,gift giving,vacations,social outings & the lifestyle $$ can buy while i scatch at my paypacket trying to hold onto what little assests i have left... im not keen on going to bars/clubs alone ive tried shopping malls,caffes,resturants,online,libaries,art galleries,theaters,social events (alone),meetup groups,work,sports events and in 16 months ive had not one single woman take any interest in me even those i approached... im destined to spend my remaining days in absolute solitude & misery...

[zundertowz]

Agreed I'm having doubts my ex is BPD in any case she is aty person as are the 90% in the article. Crazy we give them attention ect and were to clingy and smothering we pull back and were not attentive enough what the heck !  The article says that 70% found their affair partner better then their husbands and yet only 25% married or entered Rs with affair partner another crazy contradiction... honestly humanity has lost the plot or I'm on wrong planet... perhaps if we can't beat them we should join them and all become cheats... do away with monogamy,marriage,families

I often wonder if a lot of peoples exes on here were just crappy people who lacked empathy rather than BPD.  Anyways this post is exactly what i'm struggling with the most... .the lack of humanity we seem to have in the world these days... .seems like a long shot in finding a loyal honest mate these days, while the crappy people enjoy there drama filled lives having no problems hurting people.  I always here on these boards that these people are not happy and are not enjoying themselves I don't always believe that to be the case.

exactly what good is my integrity,honor & self respect if im only a handful of people practising it... clearly my ex is happy with my replacement despite having committed infidelity multiple times,despite her alcoholic binges,despite knowingly and conciously hurting me...

TBH if ever i get the chance to do as she did im not so sure ill hold back this time as ive done in past... perhaps all this "good person stuff"  is of no value anymore in todays and our future societies... im 50 ive been nothing short of "good person" all my life and its got me knowhere... .ive been cheated on twice... lost my children for ten years from first marriage and now im utterly alone with no single friends or family members to socialize with ... i got work i come home i stare at cieling wondering where in life i went so horribly wrong then i try to sleep i get up i goto work and the day repeats... i doubt i can live like this for the next 20 years or so

Wow I'm pretty much in the exact same situation... .I'm close to 40 have been burned multiple times and now pretty much work and stare at the walls... .I'm sure our lack of social life has jaded us but I don't think I have it in me too have no empathy and hurt someone... .it just bothers me that those people are having a whole hell of alot more fun than I am.  Like I have already said BPDs relationships may end in a mess but that doesn't mean that there not enjoying themselves at any point... .why would we be so hung up on our exes if there wasn't any good times?

I can say honestly that I would never get back with my ex... .I think she is a horrible person... .but it does drive me crazy knowing that people like her are living a fantasy at least for a little while while i'm chain smoking and sitting home on the weekends... .I guess that's a me problem... .but I guess if your a half way attractive women you can pretty much have your pick of guys at any local pub or bar.  I consider myself a decent looking guy and I have gone years without a female showing interest... .and they have mostly turned out to be untrustworthy.  

[Lostone1314]

Agreed I'm having doubts my ex is BPD in any case she is aty person as are the 90% in the article. Crazy we give them attention ect and were to clingy and smothering we pull back and were not attentive enough what the heck !  The article says that 70% found their affair partner better then their husbands and yet only 25% married or entered Rs with affair partner another crazy contradiction... honestly humanity has lost the plot or I'm on wrong planet... perhaps if we can't beat them we should join them and all become cheats... do away with monogamy,marriage,families

I often wonder if a lot of peoples exes on here were just crappy people who lacked empathy rather than BPD.  Anyways this post is exactly what i'm struggling with the most... .the lack of humanity we seem to have in the world these days... .seems like a long shot in finding a loyal honest mate these days, while the crappy people enjoy there drama filled lives having no problems hurting people.  I always here on these boards that these people are not happy and are not enjoying themselves I don't always believe that to be the case.

exactly what good is my integrity,honor & self respect if im only a handful of people practising it... clearly my ex is happy with my replacement despite having committed infidelity multiple times,despite her alcoholic binges,despite knowingly and conciously hurting me...

TBH if ever i get the chance to do as she did im not so sure ill hold back this time as ive done in past... perhaps all this "good person stuff"  is of no value anymore in todays and our future societies... im 50 ive been nothing short of "good person" all my life and its got me knowhere... .ive been cheated on twice... lost my children for ten years from first marriage and now im utterly alone with no single friends or family members to socialize with ... i got work i come home i stare at cieling wondering where in life i went so horribly wrong then i try to sleep i get up i goto work and the day repeats... i doubt i can live like this for the next 20 years or so

Wow I'm pretty much in the exact same situation... .I'm close to 40 have been burned multiple times and now pretty much work and stare at the walls... .I'm sure our lack of social life has jaded us but I don't think I have it in me too have no empathy and hurt someone... .it just bothers me that those people are having a whole hell of alot more fun than I am.  Like I have already said BPDs relationships may end in a mess but that doesn't mean that there not enjoying themselves at any point... .why would we be so hung up on our exes if there wasn't any good times?

I can say honestly that I would never get back with my ex... .I think she is a horrible person... .but it does drive me crazy knowing that people like her are living a fantasy at least for a little while while i'm chain smoking and sitting home on the weekends... .I guess that's a me problem... .but I guess if your a half way attractive women you can pretty much have your pick of guys at any local pub or bar.  I consider myself a decent looking guy and I have gone years without a female showing interest... .and they have mostly turned out to be untrustworthy.  

dont misunderstand i do like who i am but as far as being attractive to women i know im not... im a short 5'6" , bald , average build mediteranian and im not wealthy and ahve not the financial ability to adore a woman the way they want to be adored i couldnt possibly cover the entire cost of an elegant meal ,im introverted... .the only reason my attractive ex chased me was cause i wasnt attractive and she believed i could be manipulated in giving her what she wanted a free ride