Trying to understand

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello Family

it has been 3 years since the divorce, NC since then except to reply to few emails, there was few attempt to recycle but I resisted even thou it was very difficult and exhausting. since the divorce , I was deleted from Skype, however in June she added me to Skype again but there was no communication from both side. I had a feeling that there is something going on. last night I checked her profile on Google and I found out she got married three month ago in June. a picture was posted with her husband and both looks very happy. I have no anger what's over in my heart. I am just exhausted being in this loop without an exit in the horizon. what kept me stuck is trying to answer the big question "WHY". can someone explain to me what is the motive behind her move ?

Thank you

[ketch61]

Hello Family

it has been 3 years since the divorce, NC since then except to reply to few emails, there was few attempt to recycle but I resisted even thou it was very difficult and exhausting. since the divorce , I was deleted from Skype, however in June she added me to Skype again but there was no communication from both side. I had a feeling that there is something going on. last night I checked her profile on Google and I found out she got married three month ago in June. a picture was posted with her husband and both looks very happy. I have no anger what's over in my heart. I am just exhausted being in this loop without an exit in the horizon. what kept me stuck is trying to answer the big question "WHY". can someone explain to me what is the motive behind her move ?

Thank you

[disorderedsociety]

Hello Family

it has been 3 years since the divorce, NC since then except to reply to few emails, there was few attempt to recycle but I resisted even thou it was very difficult and exhausting. since the divorce , I was deleted from Skype, however in June she added me to Skype again but there was no communication from both side. I had a feeling that there is something going on. last night I checked her profile on Google and I found out she got married three month ago in June. a picture was posted with her husband and both looks very happy. I have no anger what's over in my heart. I am just exhausted being in this loop without an exit in the horizon. what kept me stuck is trying to answer the big question "WHY". can someone explain to me what is the motive behind her move ?

Thank you

Her move as in, deleting you from Skype once she got married? Don't you see, people with BPD want to keep what they perceive as an open line to you, in this case Skype, until they are sure they have nailed down new supply. Then as time goes on, their relationships grow cold as always and they come back around saying things that lead you to believe they've changed and see how much value you hold, which is true but not in the way they see it. The only value you have to a BPD person is how much they can get out of you before you say enough is enough.

You're better than this!

[ketch61]

I totally understand that BPD cut people from their lives once they get new supply,  in my case is different,  she added me to her list when she is getting married

[coldmist]

I totally understand that BPD cut people from their lives once they get new supply,  in my case is different,  she added me to her list when she is getting married

You mentioned she's made recycle attempts before so she might have added you as a "back up" if/when things go bad with her new husband.

[Mutt]

Hi ketch61,

I'm sorry to hear that. You have been divorced for three years? Did she want the divorce and you didn't want the divorce?

[ketch61]

Hi Mutt, she is the one who asked for the divorce, there was no fight or anything.  She took off to another state, then she start bringing all the problems from the past problem that has been solved to set me to fail and then asked for a divorce, i simply agreed  because i did not see not just the light at the end of the tunnel but also the tunnel it self.

[Mutt]

It sounds like you could see the bigger picture although it was emotionally distressing with her recycle attempts. I completely understand how confusing all of this can be and the big question, why?

Its very possible that in her mind you're split white and that's the reason why she added you on Skype. Did she rush into this marriage?

[ketch61]

It is difficult to say if she rushed into marriage  since BPD people usually tend to have a line of supply,  her last email to me was in January back then she told me she is looking for a plane ticket to come visit (recycle or just checking if i am still available  . Considering she got married in June that only six months . Don't know if this is can be called  rush but  her comment on the picture with her husband  is " i married my best friend " . I never knew or heard  about her best friend before