Today's Challenge

[raytamtay3]

So todays' challenge... .DD is brow beating me about letting her take her GED rather than finish school. Good lord the struggle is never ending in some form isn't it? Of course I said no.  I'm beginning to lose my cool as it's now apparent to me how DD manipulated me to get out of the RTC crying saying how she wanted to go to HS and live a normal teenage life yadda-yadda.  I'm really trying to remain calm.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[infiniteeyes]

Hey raytamtay

What is GED?

[raytamtay3]

Hey raytamtay

What is GED?

Hi! General Education Development.  It's the equivalent of a HS diploma.  People have to take a test and if they pass it, get a GED certificate in lieu of diploma. 

[infiniteeyes]

So does she have to attend a course or anything or is it just a matter of sitting a test and thats it?

I really do think our DD's are eerily similar Raytamtay3

As just today my DD decided the exact same thing-that she is dropping out of school and attending a program that is something similar to the Leaving exams ere.

How weird is that?   

[raytamtay3]

So does she have to attend a course or anything or is it just a matter of sitting a test and thats it?

I really do think our DD's are eerily similar Raytamtay3

As just today my DD decided the exact same thing-that she is dropping out of school and attending a program that is something similar to the Leaving exams ere.

How weird is that?   

That IS weird! She would have to take either a course or have tutoring, but if I can help it, that will not happen.  She hasn't brought it up since telling me I have no right to control her life and that she will find a way to do it without my help. Exhausting.

[infiniteeyes]

Oh yeah trying to control her life, Where have I heard that one before 

Well, as My DD is 16 she can legally leave school. Im going to let her do the course, but on a few conditions. That her current school will agree to be willing to take her back should she change her mind.

And also that any money she gets will be put into my bank account to save for her.

I can see a few arguements erupting over all of this. But Im going to let her decide.

[raytamtay3]

Blowing up my phone now saying if I don't let her get her GED, or now go to night school, she's going to get in to a fight to get kicked out of school. I told her that she knows what the consequences are and that that is her choice.

Damn, not even three weeks home. Now whether she will proceed with her plan remains to be seen. But wow. Just wow. She never ceases to amaze me.

If she didn't have her issues I would consider a GED. But my DD is lazy.  Plus the GED is no joke! It's hard!

I told her get and keep a job for a while and then we will talk.  All she wants to do is smoke pot every chance she gets. This is what it's about. Her friends are out of school. She chooses older ones to hang with (18+). As soon as she gets home from school she runs right out with her smoking buddy. I'm venting here out of anxiousness that she's gonna revert. So far the only real change has been her coming home either before or on time for curfew.

[infiniteeyes]

Im sorry you are going through this raytamtay, I truly am.

I can empathise to exactly how u feel!

My DD is in with a bad crowd too ( the worst in town) and seems intent on running back to them, time after time again, despite being badly treated by them!

I know how tough it is.

My DD also has the threat of secure care hanging over her head but it only seems to deter her very slightly.

Hang in there and hope she makes the right decision.

[js friend]

Blowing up my phone now saying if I don't let her get her GED, or now go to night school, she's going to get in to a fight to get kicked out of school. I told her that she knows what the consequences are and that that is her choice.

Raytamtay,

I think giving the school the headsup on what your dd's plans are would help here. Our dd's need to realise that their threats wont work and by sharing this information they are less able to manipulate us and others.

[raytamtay3]

Thankfully nothing negative has occurred in school after DD's threat.  In fact, I spoke to her teacher the other day who said she is extremely bright, witty and has superior writing skills. He said she is doing very well at school.

She is still coming in before or at curfew.  The thing I do not particularly like is that she is having a friend take her to school now. I told her I did not like the idea and that if she is late even once or misses even once (without my consent/knowledge) she's back to taking the bus. She told me to let he first mess up before saying things like that.  I just nodded. I knew there was no sense saying 'well I'm just letting you know', because it would blow up. So she knows that the expectation is.

I'm still a basket of nerves waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's horrible feeling this way, but I can't seem to shake it!

[lbjnltx]

I was a basket of nerves for a long time... .truly believe I was developing an anxiety disorder.

I figured out it came from having a sense of powerlessness over my own life.  Once I became empowered the feelings subsided and my cognitive skills returned.  Relief.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[raytamtay3]

DD now has her teacher and some of the IEP team convinced that going the GED route to get her degree and then taking college courses isn't such a bad idea! WHAT? I have a call in to the director on the IEP to discuss what the hell they are thinking saying such things to her.  I do believe it because her teacher even told me that DD has some good points about it! I said my DD talks a good talk but her follow through is the problem.  I'm under the impression they just want to be done with her. Why else would they even remotely entertain this idea? It's only making it more difficult for me who is opposed to the idea.  Not to mention DD hasn't even been in a regular school in the past two years and is no where on level for even regular classes. Are they out of their minds?