Such a typical uBPD/NPD Mom...Would a normal mom do this?

[Our abuse recovery guide]

So would a normal mom do this? A few years ago, when I went to India, I had a special outfit made for my brother's wedding (whenever he would get married... .I figured it would happen soon so I would get my outfit.) We are Indian so would be an Indian wedding. So my brother didn't get married at the time so the outfit was sitting in my closet and I figured I would save it for whenever since not the type to go out of style. So my brother finally got married in August! I was planning on wearing the outfit but I couldnt because I got a 24 hour awful stomach bug so ended up wearing something more comfortable to use the bathroom in... .(Sorry, TMI!) So anyways, now my parents are having a wedding reception for him here. I was going to wear the outfit but my husband bought me another gorgeous outfit when he went to India as a surprise... .So now I HAVE to wear that... .So now I am left with not wearing my beautiful and special outfit... .So my uBPD mom asked me to wear it. Mind you it was special to me... .I have not yet worn it. My mom knew it was special to me. And she gave me the whole "Well, you arent wearing it... .If you were, it's different... .You are moving away anyways. I dont want to go all the way to NY to buy a new one... ." I couldnt say no... .Although it bothered me... She knows its special. She knows I havent worn it yet... .

[MiserableDaughter]

So would a normal mom do this? A few years ago, when I went to India, I had a special outfit made for my brother's wedding (whenever he would get married... .I figured it would happen soon so I would get my outfit.) We are Indian so would be an Indian wedding. So my brother didn't get married at the time so the outfit was sitting in my closet and I figured I would save it for whenever since not the type to go out of style. So my brother finally got married in August! I was planning on wearing the outfit but I couldnt because I got a 24 hour awful stomach bug so ended up wearing something more comfortable to use the bathroom in... .(Sorry, TMI!) So anyways, now my parents are having a wedding reception for him here. I was going to wear the outfit but my husband bought me another gorgeous outfit when he went to India as a surprise... .So now I HAVE to wear that... .So now I am left with not wearing my beautiful and special outfit... .So my uBPD mom asked me to wear it. Mind you it was special to me... .I have not yet worn it. My mom knew it was special to me. And she gave me the whole "Well, you arent wearing it... .If you were, it's different... .You are moving away anyways. I dont want to go all the way to NY to buy a new one... ." I couldnt say no... .Although it bothered me... She knows its special. She knows I havent worn it yet... .

[GaGrl]

Confused... .are you saying your mother wants to wear YOUR dress to the wedding reception?  And it is hanging in YOUR closet?

If so, remember that "No" is a complete sentence.

[Kwamina]

Hi MiserableDaughter

I have some questions for you that I think might help you deal with this.

Which dress do you really want to wear when you look into your heart?

Why do you feel that you have to wear the dress your husband bought you? Is it perhaps that you don't want to hurt his feelings?

Why do you feel you couldn't say no to your mom when she asked to wear your special outfit? Were you concerned about how she might have reacted if you said no?