Do they all Recycle?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hey Guys. I have a question. Just out of curiosity do all of our exs Recycle back to us? Mine came back 28 years later just to dump me again in a matter of weeks. I really this time around don't ever see her coming back again ever. To be honest I never knew what was wrong with her until I did a lot of research on line an found this great site. Anybody ever have them not recycle after the 1st time?

[Confused108]

Hey Guys. I have a question. Just out of curiosity do all of our exs Recycle back to us? Mine came back 28 years later just to dump me again in a matter of weeks. I really this time around don't ever see her coming back again ever. To be honest I never knew what was wrong with her until I did a lot of research on line an found this great site. Anybody ever have them not recycle after the 1st time?

[Confused?]

I recycled after the first time but I'm not sure we were ever even apart. Then got replaced again. She still contacts me. It takes two to recycle remember 

[SWLSR]

I do think everyone of try to recycle but we open the door to them or we dont.  I didnt and i dont regret it.  Although she is still  trying to suck me into her drama.

[Creativum]

All?  No.  Not by a long shot, though the chances are probably pretty good they'll want to.  It depends on a number of factors, and the biggest and most unpredictable variable is the individual with BPD.

Ex 1 attempted numerous times to recycle, and recycle we did.  It was a freaking TRAIN WRECK that eventually put me in a coma in the hospital for two weeks. 

Ex 2 and I recycled once, and it lasted a grand total of a week before he started devaluing me and blowing me off.

Recycling can be a dangerous business.  Your partner has become dysregulated enough once before to trigger a break-up.  Once you're a trigger, you're ALWAYS a trigger.  So if you're hoping for a recycle?  Please don't.  It's a blessing if they don't want to attempt it.  Don't take the risk.

[Invictus01]

Yep, a badly worded question. ":)o they TRY to recycle and do we give in?" is a better one. The answer is - yes, many of them try to recycle. What do you do about it is up to you.

[enlighten me]

My ex wife recycled with me before dumping me again. I didn't know about BPD at the time and just thought we were giving our marriage another go.

My exgf never recycles. That said I previously went out with her 21 years before we got together again. To my knowledge I am the only person she has ever done this with.

[Mutt]

I didn't understand that my wife suffered from a personality disorder in our marriage. I feel like her emotional immaturity and that she wasn't interested with working on her stuff that was my niggle. Things weren't changing and I just wanted out and I didn't forecast how truly messy things would end. When the relationship broke, I was done and didn't want to go back ever again.

She was trying to keep me at arm's length right after the break -up and she caught on that I wasn't interested in recycling. I don't waiver from our interactions and I solely focus on the kids. If it's not about the kids, I won't respond. She respects that boundary and she doesn't discuss anything personal or insinuates anything romantic.

[Skip]

Guys, nobody get recycled - we recycle. We're not fruit that is picked off of a tree. 

Here is what 692 members say... .why not join in there.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=120215.0

Skip

[shatra]

Enlighten wrote--

My exgf never recycles. That said I previously went out with her 21 years before we got together again. To my knowledge I am the only person she has ever done this with.

-----So in reality,, she did recycle.  21 years later. I have heard of them recycling after an even longer gap.  She may have done this with others too, but not said anything about it.  Or she may have selective amnesia about other recycles during the 21 years.

[Confused108]

Well I will say this I never knew what was wrong with my ex back in1988. We were teens and she became this "other person" after my Mom broke us up. Now after her coming back after 28 years and doing the same crap to me again she did 28 years ago NO WAY will I ever go back to her again. I was also told that out of all her exs I was the "Only" one he ever came back to. I don't believe the  Lord's Prayer from her. I just wish these people would get help for themselves.  With that said Happy Thanksgiving to you all! To better days ahead!

[hopealways]

Most do if they have left the door open and think we will go back. Mine recycled about 50 times.

[butterfly15]

Most do if they have left the door open and think we will go back. Mine recycled about 50 times.

50? with you? I want the contact just to know he misses me. This is the longest we have ever gone without contact. I know he is waiting for me because he is used to leaving all sorts of people in his life. Besides he did a really good job painting me black before he left.

[enlighten me]

Enlighten wrote--

My exgf never recycles. That said I previously went out with her 21 years before we got together again. To my knowledge I am the only person she has ever done this with.

-----So in reality,, she did recycle.  21 years later. I have heard of them recycling after an even longer gap.  She may have done this with others too, but not said anything about it.  Or she may have selective amnesia about other recycles during the 21 years.

Yes I agree it was a recycle hence my addition. Apart from me though she has never gone back. She spent many an evening going back through her extensive list of serious exs. Telling me about why they broke up and how she never saw them again and who they where with now and where they were living. Im sure she had casual hooks ups that she went back to but as far as "serious" relationships go Im the only one. Im also one of only two people who ever dumped her and the other guy is one she went on about a lot.