Now a party invite?

[Depression = 72% of members]

After two weeks of the silent treatment game, my BPDw texted me (keep in mind we live in the same house and she sent this from the living room. I’m was in the bedroom), “B___ and K___ would like for us to spend NYE with them I don’t know what your plans are. I don’t have plans and if you want to go, let me know so I can let them know.”  She has recently imposed a new rule that I respect her for: We take separate cars if I’m drinking. She doesn’t drink. I had too many at a football season kick off party she attended with me and she didn’t like the state I was in. So, this was the new rule to help me maintain my composer. BTW I never have too many drinks when I know I’m driving. Never. No DUIs (I wait until I’m sober to drive). Anyway, I responded: “I can meet you there. What time?”  She replied, “Or we can ride together. She didn’t say what time on the message but I can ask when I RSVP.”

What should I do?  I love my BPDw and the party hosts are friends for 10+ years. I’m concerned she’s setting me up for another episode like we had before - she say’s one thing and does another.  I’d go without her if I have to, but what is this all about? We haven’t spoken much at all. We didn’t even enjoy Christmas at all. She gave a gift and took it back. I didn’t even bother with a gift. I’m torn as to the motivation here. We’re both at our breaking point, but I do love my wife dearly.  I’m still walking on egg shells. Any ideas? My T says I’m still looking for her approval, based on my first post. I’m confused.

[FoxTail]

After two weeks of the silent treatment game, my BPDw texted me (keep in mind we live in the same house and she sent this from the living room. I’m was in the bedroom), “B___ and K___ would like for us to spend NYE with them I don’t know what your plans are. I don’t have plans and if you want to go, let me know so I can let them know.”  She has recently imposed a new rule that I respect her for: We take separate cars if I’m drinking. She doesn’t drink. I had too many at a football season kick off party she attended with me and she didn’t like the state I was in. So, this was the new rule to help me maintain my composer. BTW I never have too many drinks when I know I’m driving. Never. No DUIs (I wait until I’m sober to drive). Anyway, I responded: “I can meet you there. What time?”  She replied, “Or we can ride together. She didn’t say what time on the message but I can ask when I RSVP.”

What should I do?  I love my BPDw and the party hosts are friends for 10+ years. I’m concerned she’s setting me up for another episode like we had before - she say’s one thing and does another.  I’d go without her if I have to, but what is this all about? We haven’t spoken much at all. We didn’t even enjoy Christmas at all. She gave a gift and took it back. I didn’t even bother with a gift. I’m torn as to the motivation here. We’re both at our breaking point, but I do love my wife dearly.  I’m still walking on egg shells. Any ideas? My T says I’m still looking for her approval, based on my first post. I’m confused.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Lou12]

If you want to go to the party then go with your wife. Have a back up plan though that allows you total independence to do your own thing should she try and ruin your plans. Don't allow her the control to ruin your night that's what I would do x