JSF, no one here can tell you whether your present approach is good or bad. The fact that your ex is still in therapy is a good sign, and it sounds like you've learned enough to make an informed decision. From what your note says you both still seem to feel enough for each other to give it another try.
That said, only you know the color of the pool you're thinking of diving back into. Just be sure to keep your motivation clear and plan to have plenty of exit points available. I would be taking it in very tiny steps if I was in your situation.
We haven't spoken now in 24 hrs after I had said to her that we cannot discuss our issues without a therapist because we need someone to help us work through the issues one by one. She apparently didn't like that answer and then devalued me. I responded with "Wow ok" and we haven't spoke since. As I told my sister: If I have gained anything back in the 3 months we have been apart it's my self respect and I will not let her bully me into what she wants nor will I deal with the tantrums.
