Legal question about making a YouTube video

[NCEA]

Hey,

I'd like to know if making an educational video for YouTube and talking about the relationship, without giving out names but sharing other details, would be legal. I'd like to make a video about red flags and use as example my relationship with my exBPDf.

I'm currently in the UK. Is this allowed?

Thank you

[livednlearned]

Hi NCEA,

This board is about family law, divorce, and custody issues when there is a BPD person involved... .we aren't lawyers here and aren't in a position to give out legal advice.

What would be in the video?

[NCEA]

Yes I know but maybe someone has some ideas about what's legal and not.

I'd list red flags and give examples from the relationship. So lots of private information about her past and sexuality but I'll of course not mention her name or anything like that. But still, I want to know that I can't get sued.

[Duck_Borders]

I think this is a great idea.  I have no idea if you can get sued, but I would presume if you don't use her name or anything that could identify her, you're ok... . 

I would definitely wait until you're free and clear of her legally though.  This would create some definite anger in your BPDex if she finds out... .

Yes I know but maybe someone has some ideas about what's legal and not.

I'd list red flags and give examples from the relationship. So lots of private information about her past and sexuality but I'll of course not mention her name or anything like that. But still, I want to know that I can't get sued.

[iron pigeon]

I'm "across the pond".   Here, slander and libel are a real thing.   I'm not sure if they are called something different where you are, but you could start out googling slander and libel along with UK.  I'm not an attorney and you're in a different country so there isn't very solid footing here for me to comment.   However, our system is based on based on British common law (except for Louisiana, which is based on Nepoleanic code or law or whatever they call it).    Anyway, as far as I understand it, there probably isn't anything criminal.  I mean we have freedom of speech here, but I assume there is something like that which makes it hard to treat speech as a criminal crime where you are.    So, with slander and libel there has to be something called "standing".   Standing means something like damage or harm.   With criminal law, all that matters is breaking the law.   With civil law, someone has to have been harmed or damaged.   Of course, anyone can sue anyone for anything.   Could you get sued?  Yes.   But from there, it would have to be proven that you committed the act and that it caused damage.   How much damage factors into how much compensation.   So she'd have to lose a job and be able to prove it was because of your video.   Or something like that.   On the softer side, loosing friends and experiencing emotional distress could be viewed as a form of damage.   Another factor would be your financial ability.   If you're broke, here they call that "judgment proof".   Meaning, that someone could still sue you, but there is no money to be had, so no lawyer will take the case or waste there time on it.   This boils down to the highest risk is if you're filthy rich and you, lets say ruin the image of a public figure that depends on their image for a very high income, that's the worst case.   If you have nothing to lose and the other party has nothing to lose it's almost like there is no point in taking you to court over it (but they still could).

I would go with another previous comment as a guiding factor.   If it did get back to her, that might make your life difficult other ways.   So, just make it all abstract.    10 -> close to a dozen.    Then she threw a phone -> On occasion she expressed anger by throwing things.   Whether she threw a phone or some other object or did something 10 or 11 times exactly isn't going to help someone anyway.   So just bump the level of abstraction about what you're describing up a couple notches.

I'm remembering now that you posted about revenge.   If this is about revenge, then you specifically are calculating to do harm.   That creates standing even if it's emotional damage.   Revenge would require that you connect the dots of who the video was about to either her or others.   That would provide proof that the damage was caused by the video.   If this is a revenge thing, you probably are on the wrong side of slander libel laws.   You are specifically seeking to do something that causes damage.    That creates damage that was actually caused by what you did, which makes it quite possibly provable.   If you are well off, you might have some form of what we call umbrella insurance here that protects you from liability for this kind of damage.   However, the fact that you intentionally do this exactly for the effect of creating damage which then results in liability could invalidate any liability insurance you had.   It would be like intentionally wrecking your car to collect auto insurance.

Again I'm not a lawyer.   This is all just opinion for entertainment or whatever.   It should be regarded as something you read somewhere on the internet which is exactly what it is.   Do your own research and always use qualified legal professional for advice.   Not something you read somewhere on the internet.

[Duck_Borders]

I 100% agree with this statement - if it's about revenge it brings you no benefit and I would definitely not advise it.  Revenge seems like a good idea when you're hurt and angry, but it never actually makes you feel better.  I've thought about it myself, but anytime I've had the chance to actually take revenge, I could never actually do it.  Also, fighting and chaos and confrontation is what personality disorders thrive on, so in a way you'd be feeding the beast. 

If it's about educating others so that they do not fall into the same trap that you did, than I agree with you.  I have similar hopes and interests once I get through my legal issues with my BPD ex.

I'm remembering now that you posted about revenge.   If this is about revenge, then you specifically are calculating to do harm.   

[NCEA]

It's a combination of educating people, finding closure and yes hopefully she'll find it one day and get very angry. Not mentioning her name of course... .And very few people from her life even knew me, we were together just six months and it was long distance.

[Duck_Borders]

It's a combination of educating people, finding closure and yes hopefully she'll find it one day and get very angry. Not mentioning her name of course... .And very few people from her life even knew me, we were together just six months and it was long distance.

Don't do it.  Not enough benefit.  Wait until you find the closure elsewhere and the "payback" aspect is just an extra perk. 

[November_Rain]

It sounds as though you are trying to start a smear campaign. The more views and likes you get, the more satisfaction you get. That won't help you heal. If it is truly about educating others then I would suggest an anonymous blog.

[sfbayjed]

I don't know about the UK but in the USA if you changed the names I don't see how anyone could win a law suite against you for making a video. You could use her name and still it would not be slander unless it isn't true. Whether it is a good idea is another question. I think it might be better to make a video about something else your interested in.  There lots of reasons I can think of not to do it. It is not really emotionally healthy. If you think about it, isn't that like something she would do?

"living well is the best revenge"

[non_stuck]

As they say in 12 Step Groups, "Check your motivation." There are already great videos on BPD that are produced by mental health professionals. When the BPD entered my life, I checked out a lot of them. Your ex has the same access you have. My in-law has dozens of videos about her beefs with her ex and and numerous blogs. In my opinion, people are better off keeping their private issues private.  I wouldn't be on this board were I required to identify myself and my family. Whether or not you could get into legal trouble depends on the laws in your state. It also depends on instructions of the Court. Most judges take a dim view on such things. There is a woman who started doing videos on another personality disorder after a break up. I saw one and it was good. Now she has dozens on the same subject. Who's looking unstable now?  She's young, beautiful, and should get some therapy and move on. Your best hope is for peace and getting in the last word probably isn't possible.