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Author Topic: NC pep talk thread part 3  (Read 2136 times)
Anez
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« Reply #30 on: January 25, 2016, 06:29:44 PM »

Mine was diagnosed as bipolar and prescribed lamictal. Since the breakup she s cured of her bipolar and no longer on lamictal! Wow talk about miracles!

Hahahaha amazing! A miracle indeed!
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Lexisdad
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« Reply #31 on: January 25, 2016, 06:41:28 PM »

Lady lee,

You are a lady with manners and most of us here are people with manners and values. I know in the end we will all realize how bad we were really treated. When all is said and done we will all be able to hold our heads high and look at ourselves in the mirror and realize we were really good to these people with BPD. Do you think that a person with BPD can ever do that with their chameleon like behavior and actually feel really good about how they treated us all? I sure hope not. Stay strong we've all walked 10 miles in each others shoes here.
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Anez
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« Reply #32 on: January 25, 2016, 06:41:49 PM »

This thread is so honest. We give these relationships all of this good pure love just like you hear about in songs and they just stomp on our hearts at the end, that is why it's so hard to go forward. I don't think I have ever broken up with someone without looking back and discussing the reasons why it did not work, just so they could have that information or a chance to repair it. I am a lady after all with manners. Mine used his smartphone to end it, real brave and gentlemanlike. I never realized that I married a coward,  (a creature even albeit a parasite) but I did.

Man, he does sound like a coward and a child. These people have the mental makeup of an 8 year old. Sorry you went through that, ladylee.

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JQ
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« Reply #33 on: January 25, 2016, 07:00:27 PM »

Hey Group,

Remember first and foremost that BPD is a VERY serious mental / behavioral illness that YOU can't Control & YOU can't Cure.  Those with BPD can be in part Narcissistic and make statements like, "You will never find another woman that will love you as much as I love you".  It's an arrogant statement from someone who is mentally ill, take NO stock in statements like this ... .nothing good will come from it. It means nothing so let it go in order for you to continue your healthy journey of healing.

Lexisdad, I can tell you from personal experience that my first exBPDgf from 20 years ago has recently popped back into my life after nearly 18 1/2 years of NC. She wiggled her way into my BPD mother & BPD sister life in order to gain information on me. The exBPDgf somehow obtained my cell phone number and neither my mother or sister will own up to given it to her. SO I've had to block her from trying to text me and or call me. I have gone NC with my BPD sister and I have very limited contact / conversation with my BPD mother.

It's good to know the you and your ex still have a decent relationship in regards to your daughter ... .I respect that. As far as the exBPDgf and wanting to come to the Birthday party ... .brother that's a tough call. I have no doubt that your daughter would appreciate the visit ... .BUT I certainly have NO doubt that giving the chance she would set her flying monkey's loose to rage havoc and chaos on you. YOU are an awesome dad to take her out for mani/pedi !

In regards to my most recent exBPDgf, I have not heard from her but knew she was sniping my FB page so I went through and locked it down. We shared mutual friends and I had to check the box to share my post with "ONLY FRIENDS" & not "Friends of friends" and I would suggest to each one of you to do the same.

Lexisdad you're a law enforcement officer ... .I know that being in that field has and continues to be a difficult thing to do everyday. I want to thank YOU for your service to the community and thank your family for their sacrifice watching you go out to the front lines each and everyday.  Would it surprise you to learn that a lot of codependents aka NONs have employment in the law enforcement, military, doctors, nurses, counselors, mental health therapist ... .I myself spent 30 years in the military. We are by definition of being a codependent the Sheriff with the white hat, the Knight in Armor wanting to save those from others or from most likely themselves. We want to protect those who can't protect themselves ... .it's who we are at our core. Therapy helped me deal with not only my BPD relationship of my mom, sister & exBPDgf, but my own PTSD issue and the "new normal" from a physical injury I received 2 yrs prior to retirement. I learned that asking for that kind of help isn't a sign of weakness but a great sign of strength and would encourage others to explore it.

For those who haven't learned about some BPD mental / behavior illness, they have a SEVERE fear of abandonment and they lash out or rage when they believe in their warp recesses of their mind that you're sleeping with someone other then them. They will NEVER stop reaching out to you, my 1st exBPDgf from 20 years ago is proof of this by recently reaching out texting and calling me. They will never move on ... .they suffer from a mental illness that warps their thinking that knows no time limits. They're flying monkey's never die ... .they only get older and still able to fly and cause chaos and havoc when the BPD opens up their cages.

But the one thing everyone has in common on this thread is we're all recovering codependents who have chosen to move forward in our lives without the chaos of our EX-BPD s/o.  Baby steps ... .continue forward with baby steps ... .

JQ
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Lexisdad
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« Reply #34 on: January 25, 2016, 07:18:27 PM »

Jq,

Thanks for the kudos. Just to clarify there is no party. Just me taking my daughter out for a girly day. She really has diminished cognitive skills so doesnt realize presents. However she does recognize people she s comfortable with and my BPDex is one of them. She can hardly contain herself when she see's her. My ex BPDgf wants to meet us at the spa and as much as i'd like to i'm really hurt. 6 weeks ago she was getting pregnant and engaged and ended it and walked away. Im beyond pissed and hurt and like i told her she has either or will move on with someone. I'm thankful for the love and compassion she gave my daughter but she's my daughter not hers and i don't think another man would accept her still being in contact and visiting with us for the sake of my daughter.I know she painted me black to her son as he has not reached out to me at all. I'm sure i was cheating and got caught is how i was portrayed to him and her family.

I know that she will miss my daughter deeply as the bond was immeasurable but she chose to walk that path away from us and i refuse to let her be used as leverage. She ended it 7 weeks ago but still can't fully let me go. Its a vicious cycle we are subjected to but like you said we need to realize first and foremost this is a mental illness. We can second guess ourselves all we want but no matter what we did we would be in the same predicament.
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JQ
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« Reply #35 on: January 25, 2016, 07:25:15 PM »

This thread is so honest. We give these relationships all of this good pure love just like you hear about in songs and they just stomp on our hearts at the end, that is why it's so hard to go forward. I don't think I have ever broken up with someone without looking back and discussing the reasons why it did not work, just so they could have that information or a chance to repair it. I am a lady after all with manners. Mine used his smartphone to end it, real brave and gentlemanlike. I never realized that I married a coward,  (a creature even albeit a parasite) but I did.

Man, he does sound like a coward and a child. These people have the mental makeup of an 8 year old. Sorry you went through that, ladylee.

Group,

Those who suffer from BPD are indeed mentally stunted and have the behavior of a 3 yr old toddler. If you've ever spent anytime with a 3 yr toddler as I have on more then one occasion, ask a 3 yr old why they did what they did or said and they will give you the most elaborate answer that makes ABSOLUTELY NO FREAKING SENSE to you but to them it's all good. There is evidence to suggest that because of the emotional, mental, and physical abuse / trauma they suffered as a child they developed survival skills to cope with those things ... .they went to their "happy place" to survive. There is evidence to show that their brain is actually physically stunted in growth due to this trauma so they that all the neurons aren't even there to fire and reasonably & logically think through a situation. Its the reason that they will never be healed of this mental illness they have.

They feel an incredible amount of shame for what happen to them, not speaking up to someone or possibly threaten with their life if they did so they were subject to the abuse over and over again. They don't want to feel abandon ... .so they the BPD never really says good bye. In part that's why they have the triangle they do ... .if they start to feel engulfment from one person or rage against them or the first person has had enough of the crazy train roller coaster ride ... .they have the "replacement" ready on standby to engage yet again. This is the cycle they have always known ... .this is the life they have always known.

I don't hate my exBPDgf for the pain, mental, emotional abuse she inflected on me, I don't wish her harm or a bad life ... .in fact in the comfort of my home when I was ready in my own heart and mind I told her, "I wish you a long life full of good health both mentally and physical ... .I wish for you happiness that you so much deserve and I truly hope that you find. But it will be without me".  I did NOT actually tell her that because that would mean breaking NC ... .I actually said it out loud ... .it was a way for me to say good bye to her ... .to close this chapter in my life and move forward without her and continue my own healing and find someone who I could have a mutually respectful, honest, caring and loving relationship that we all want.

JQ
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Anez
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« Reply #36 on: January 25, 2016, 07:56:19 PM »

My ex w BPD never reaches out to me. She does the opposite and never reaches out but she responds to texts in a nice way but I'm done texting her.

We see each other at work and are cordial but besides that she's totally written me out of her life, which is for the best but has been hard to accept given our history and what I gave up for her - my marriage.

Good times.
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Lexisdad
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« Reply #37 on: January 26, 2016, 09:58:29 AM »

Jq,

Thanks for the kudos. Just to clarify there is no party. Just me taking my daughter out for a girly day. She really has diminished cognitive skills so doesnt realize presents. However she does recognize people she s comfortable with and my BPDex is one of them. She can hardly contain herself when she see's her. My ex BPDgf wants to meet us at the spa and as much as i'd like to i'm really hurt. 6 weeks ago she was getting pregnant and engaged and ended it and walked away. Im beyond pissed and hurt and like i told her she has either or will move on with someone. I'm thankful for the love and compassion she gave my daughter but she's my daughter not hers and i don't think another man would accept her still being in contact and visiting with us for the sake of my daughter.I know she painted me black to her son as he has not reached out to me at all. I'm sure i was cheating and got caught is how i was portrayed to him and her family.

I know that she will miss my daughter deeply as the bond was immeasurable but she chose to walk that path away from us and i refuse to let her be used as leverage. She ended it 7 weeks ago but still can't fully let me go. Its a vicious cycle we are subjected to but like you said we need to realize first and foremost this is a mental illness. We can second guess ourselves all we want but no matter what we did we would be in the same predicament.

Everyone i'm really looking for some advice. Ex BPDgf again texts me today about daughters bday on Sunday. She wants to meet us at the spa. I beleive in my heart she s as done with this relationship as i am but like i said she still feels need to text. I'm really just starting to get to my healing stage and i'm afraid just being in her company is gonna reopen my scabs.

Just looking to get some advice to help me make a decision.
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Anez
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« Reply #38 on: January 26, 2016, 10:20:24 AM »

Jq,

Thanks for the kudos. Just to clarify there is no party. Just me taking my daughter out for a girly day. She really has diminished cognitive skills so doesnt realize presents. However she does recognize people she s comfortable with and my BPDex is one of them. She can hardly contain herself when she see's her. My ex BPDgf wants to meet us at the spa and as much as i'd like to i'm really hurt. 6 weeks ago she was getting pregnant and engaged and ended it and walked away. Im beyond pissed and hurt and like i told her she has either or will move on with someone. I'm thankful for the love and compassion she gave my daughter but she's my daughter not hers and i don't think another man would accept her still being in contact and visiting with us for the sake of my daughter.I know she painted me black to her son as he has not reached out to me at all. I'm sure i was cheating and got caught is how i was portrayed to him and her family.

I know that she will miss my daughter deeply as the bond was immeasurable but she chose to walk that path away from us and i refuse to let her be used as leverage. She ended it 7 weeks ago but still can't fully let me go. Its a vicious cycle we are subjected to but like you said we need to realize first and foremost this is a mental illness. We can second guess ourselves all we want but no matter what we did we would be in the same predicament.

Everyone i'm really looking for some advice. Ex BPDgf again texts me today about daughters bday on Sunday. She wants to meet us at the spa. I beleive in my heart she s as done with this relationship as i am but like i said she still feels need to text. I'm really just starting to get to my healing stage and i'm afraid just being in her company is gonna reopen my scabs.

Just looking to get some advice to help me make a decision.

I see my ex every day at work and every day it re-opens scabs. I think that if you're in your healing stage you should continue on that path and not invite her. It sounds like only pain will come from seeing her, which is normal. so if you can avoid that pain I would.

Do what feels right for you and your daughter. And then celebrate the heck out of your daughter's birthday. Have a great day with her.
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JQ
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« Reply #39 on: January 26, 2016, 10:20:35 AM »

Everyone i'm really looking for some advice. Ex BPDgf again texts me today about daughters bday on Sunday. She wants to meet us at the spa. I beleive in my heart she s as done with this relationship as i am but like i said she still feels need to text. I'm really just starting to get to my healing stage and i'm afraid just being in her company is gonna reopen my scabs.

Just looking to get some advice to help me make a decision. [/quote]
LD.

It sounds as if you've made your choice already, you're just looking for approval for it. In My Humble Opinion, you don't need our or anyone elses approval to do what you feel is right for you.   I certainly agree with your statement that being in the same room is going to open up old scars, but would also anticipate her to make some new cuts that will take even longer to heal.

If YOU believe in your heart that YOU are done with the relationship, then YOU need to take baby steps forward to separate yourself from her and being in situations with her. If YOU truly believe it's over with and that YOU need to heal from everything bad that comes with someone who has BPD, then YOU move forward with those things that will help with that. If that means telling her no on the spa gig, then do it.

I remember you saying that your daughter has diminished cognitive skills, it's a tough call ... .but in the end ... .will she miss the exBPD if she doesn't even know she's not there?  She will notice how sad you are, how your mood has changed if exBPD does come and that'll last a lot longer then an afternoon with the exBPDgf.  

At some point you need to start to heal yourself ... .and tell yourself it's ok to take care of your needs too. You need to be of sound mind and body in order to help your daughter ... .this to me seems to be the firsts step in that process.

If that is your choice ... .then move forward with NC, block her number to avoid text & calls ... .IMHO.

I wish you peace & strength in your journey brother.

JQ
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kc sunshine
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« Reply #40 on: January 26, 2016, 10:23:32 AM »

This is a very difficult one, Lexisdad. It sounds like she is having a lot of anxiety over your daughters birthday. If I were you, I might say no to the bday meeting at the spa, but yes to another, less fraught day (perhaps a week after the bday). That might lessen the intensity of the meeting if there is one. Good luck-- it sounds like you are navigating this very well.


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kc sunshine
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« Reply #41 on: January 26, 2016, 10:26:17 AM »

Hi group!

Day 5 NC, day 12 DNR, RWG. The mornings are still tough when I don't see a text from her-- it still is a bad surprise . But I made it through yesterday without checking social media, and hopefully I will today as well! Fingers crossed. I had a good day yesterday-- worked, saw a friend, took care of stuff. Today I'll try to exercise more!
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Anez
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« Reply #42 on: January 26, 2016, 10:53:05 AM »

Hi group!

Day 5 NC, day 12 DNR, RWG. The mornings are still tough when I don't see a text from her-- it still is a bad surprise . But I made it through yesterday without checking social media, and hopefully I will today as well! Fingers crossed. I had a good day yesterday-- worked, saw a friend, took care of stuff. Today I'll try to exercise more!

Good work, kc. stay away from that social media! only do things that will make you feel good. keep it up!
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JQ
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« Reply #43 on: January 26, 2016, 11:02:21 AM »

Hi group!

Day 5 NC, day 12 DNR, RWG. The mornings are still tough when I don't see a text from her-- it still is a bad surprise . But I made it through yesterday without checking social media, and hopefully I will today as well! Fingers crossed. I had a good day yesterday-- worked, saw a friend, took care of stuff. Today I'll try to exercise more!

Hi KC,

You're doing good ... .the first week is certainly tough ... .but baby steps ... .keep up with the NC!  I think you going to exercise more today is an EXCELLENT idea!  Nothing like some good endorphins running around your body to make you feel better!  Working off the stress so you can sleep better.  Lock down your FB because she's more then likely sniping you, go in and tab the "friends" tab vise "friends of friends" so she doesn't see what you're doing in your life.

I think seeing the friend is a GREAT idea as well. Talk to another one today ... .call or make arrangements to go get a salad in a glass of water or a beer in a burger ... .but YOU are doing so well.

JQ
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Anez
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« Reply #44 on: January 26, 2016, 11:26:59 AM »

I need a pep talk today, guys. I'm doing pretty good overall but seeing and hearing her at work - as I'll likely do in a little bit - still affects me. And I found myself thinking of her a lot last night. Tho i was good over the weekend.

JQ ... .I need some inspiration!

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JQ
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« Reply #45 on: January 26, 2016, 11:46:59 AM »

I need a pep talk today, guys. I'm doing pretty good overall but seeing and hearing her at work - as I'll likely do in a little bit - still affects me. And I found myself thinking of her a lot last night. Tho i was good over the weekend.

JQ ... .I need some inspiration!

ANEZ,

Stay strong!  Her weak Jedi mind tricks will not work on you ... .the Force is strong with you!  Ok, some humor does good things for a different frame of mind    If that doesn't work snap the hell out of the rubber band on the inside of your write to inflict as much pain as you can when you think of her ... .  Thought

Take a deep breath  ... .I know it's tough working in the same place. This is going to be the challenge before you ... .to be a bigger person and NOT let her get to you. REMEMBER BPD IS A VERY SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESS ,,, NOTHING good will come from interaction with her. Jump on your phone and call a buddy a friend ... .a friend who is a girl ... .call and talk to the call center for one of the presidential candidates ... .tell them you're undecided and they'll talk your ear off.  Laugh on the phone ... .DON'T LOOK AT HER! 

She's thinking she's in control of YOU & your world ... .NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!  YOU AND ONLY YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOU AND YOUR WORLD! 

You got this!  You got this!  Let me know how that phone call goes to the Bernie campaign ... .LOL 

JQ
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Lexisdad
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« Reply #46 on: January 26, 2016, 11:48:23 AM »

Thank you everyone for the advice. At this point i wouldn't even no what to converse with her about. Certainly she beleives she did nothing wrong in the relationship so that's a moot point. At this point what she does in her life is her business and likewise for mine. With that in mind i've decided that it would not be a good situation. I'm still deeply in love with this woman and i need to heal and surely being in her presence will set me back again. Thank you everyone
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Anez
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« Reply #47 on: January 26, 2016, 12:01:18 PM »

I need a pep talk today, guys. I'm doing pretty good overall but seeing and hearing her at work - as I'll likely do in a little bit - still affects me. And I found myself thinking of her a lot last night. Tho i was good over the weekend.

JQ ... .I need some inspiration!

ANEZ,

Stay strong~!  Her weak Jedi mind tricks will not work on you ... .the Force is strong with you~!  Ok, some humor does good things for a different frame of mind  Smiling (click to insert in post)  If that doesn't work snap the hell out of the rubber band on the inside of your write to inflict as much pain as you can when you think of her ... .  Thought

Take a deep breath  ... .I know it's tough working in the same place. This is going to be the challenge before you ... .to be a bigger person and NOT let her get to you. REMEMBER BPD IS A VERY SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESS ,,, NOTHING good will come from interaction with her. Jump on your phone and call a buddy a friend ... .a friend who is a girl ... .call and talk to the call center for one of the presidential candidates ... .tell them you're undecided and they'll talk your ear off.  Laugh on the phone ... .DON'T LOOK AT HER~! 

She's thinking she's in control of YOU & your world ... .NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH~!  YOU AND ONLY YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOU AND YOUR WORLD~! 

You got this~!  You got this~!  Let me know how that phone call goes to the Bernie campaign ... .LOL 

JQ

thanks, JQ! Humor is key. Now i'm off to make that call!

Thank you very much, tho. I needed that. I'm in control of my world. not her.
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Anez
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« Reply #48 on: January 26, 2016, 12:02:24 PM »

Thank you everyone for the advice. At this point i wouldn't even no what to converse with her about. Certainly she beleives she did nothing wrong in the relationship so that's a moot point. At this point what she does in her life is her business and likewise for mine. With that in mind i've decided that it would not be a good situation. I'm still deeply in love with this woman and i need to heal and surely being in her presence will set me back again. Thank you everyone

You're very welcome. It's the right move. It's a hard one, sure, because I know how are feelings can be toward these women. But it's the right move for you.
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« Reply #49 on: January 26, 2016, 12:05:31 PM »

I know that she will miss my daughter deeply as the bond was immeasurable but she chose to walk that path away from us and i refuse to let her be used as leverage. She ended it 7 weeks ago but still can't fully let me go. Its a vicious cycle we are subjected to but like you said we need to realize first and foremost this is a mental illness. We can second guess ourselves all we want but no matter what we did we would be in the same predicament.

Lexisdad you sound like a very responsible and loving dad which is great. I think in your decision about letting your ex visit your daughter you should first of all consider your daughter's well being (I know you do). We know this woman has BPD so we know that she will moat probably come and go into your life. However, I don't think she should be allowed to come and go into your daughter's life as well. If that was a normal relationship and a normal break up where the other person is balanced and you know that no matter what cause you two to break up she could still be responsible enough to hold a stable contact with your child then i am sure you would have allowed it with not a lot of thinking. In the case of our BPD exs we know they are neither balanced nor responsible. We know their feelings change within minutes and their behavior changes accordingly. You know your ex better but if this is the case with your ex too if i was in your place I wouldn't allow her to keep contact with my child either. I wouldn't consider her responsible enough. What will happen if your daughter needs her at some point (you said she doesn't speak but i don't know if she uses some other kind of communication) amd she is not there anymore because she has moved on with your replacement and painted you black? Can you count on her that she will be there?
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JQ
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« Reply #50 on: January 26, 2016, 12:15:30 PM »

Thank you everyone for the advice. At this point i wouldn't even no what to converse with her about. Certainly she beleives she did nothing wrong in the relationship so that's a moot point. At this point what she does in her life is her business and likewise for mine. With that in mind i've decided that it would not be a good situation. I'm still deeply in love with this woman and i need to heal and surely being in her presence will set me back again. Thank you everyone

LD,

You're a very good man ... .you're even a better dad!  You looked at the evidence before you ... .you fairly judged the situation and what would be good not only for your daughter ... .but what would be GOOD for YOU!  You made the decision as difficult as it was ... .I would expect nothing less from an officer of the law.  IMHO you made the right choice ... .you took the step in the right direction to start the process of healing and moving on in life!

Take a deep breath ... .focus on you ... .things are going to get better ... .stay strong Officer LD!

JQ
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Lexisdad
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« Reply #51 on: January 26, 2016, 12:27:44 PM »

Penelope,

She is non verbal and does not use a communicative device. My daughter can sense when situations are tense and they tone up. My ex did punch me in the face on 2 occasions both in front of my daughter and her son but of course not in public. Over the years my daughter has been hospitalized numerous times and my ex would never visit because my ex wife would be there.

I dealt with the dyllusional jeoulosy on such a constant basis i wouldnt wanna be accused of something again this weekend. She was no doubt great to my daughter but not to me.
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Anez
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« Reply #52 on: January 26, 2016, 03:16:37 PM »

I need a pep talk today, guys. I'm doing pretty good overall but seeing and hearing her at work - as I'll likely do in a little bit - still affects me. And I found myself thinking of her a lot last night. Tho i was good over the weekend.

JQ ... .I need some inspiration!

ANEZ,

Stay strong~!  Her weak Jedi mind tricks will not work on you ... .the Force is strong with you~!  Ok, some humor does good things for a different frame of mind  Smiling (click to insert in post)  If that doesn't work snap the hell out of the rubber band on the inside of your write to inflict as much pain as you can when you think of her ... .  Thought

Take a deep breath  ... .I know it's tough working in the same place. This is going to be the challenge before you ... .to be a bigger person and NOT let her get to you. REMEMBER BPD IS A VERY SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESS ,,, NOTHING good will come from interaction with her. Jump on your phone and call a buddy a friend ... .a friend who is a girl ... .call and talk to the call center for one of the presidential candidates ... .tell them you're undecided and they'll talk your ear off.  Laugh on the phone ... .DON'T LOOK AT HER~! 

She's thinking she's in control of YOU & your world ... .NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH~!  YOU AND ONLY YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOU AND YOUR WORLD~! 

You got this~!  You got this~!  Let me know how that phone call goes to the Bernie campaign ... .LOL 

JQ

Thanks again for this, JQ. Just re-read it when I heard her laughing it up at lunch near my desk. I popped in my earbuds, fired up my favorite podcast, reached out to a friend via facebook messenger and I'm doing better.

I'm in control of my world!
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Penelope35
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 229


« Reply #53 on: January 26, 2016, 03:43:13 PM »

Penelope,

She is non verbal and does not use a communicative device. My daughter can sense when situations are tense and they tone up. My ex did punch me in the face on 2 occasions both in front of my daughter and her son but of course not in public. Over the years my daughter has been hospitalized numerous times and my ex would never visit because my ex wife would be there.

I dealt with the dyllusional jeoulosy on such a constant basis i wouldnt wanna be accused of something again this weekend. She was no doubt great to my daughter but not to me.

Good for you! Smiling (click to insert in post)
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JQ
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 731


« Reply #54 on: January 26, 2016, 04:34:32 PM »

I need a pep talk today, guys. I'm doing pretty good overall but seeing and hearing her at work - as I'll likely do in a little bit - still affects me. And I found myself thinking of her a lot last night. Tho i was good over the weekend.

JQ ... .I need some inspiration!

ANEZ,

Stay strong!  Her weak Jedi mind tricks will not work on you ... .the Force is strong with you!  Ok, some humor does good things for a different frame of mind    If that doesn't work snap the hell out of the rubber band on the inside of your write to inflict as much pain as you can when you think of her ... .  Thought

Take a deep breath  ... .I know it's tough working in the same place. This is going to be the challenge before you ... .to be a bigger person and NOT let her get to you. REMEMBER BPD IS A VERY SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESS ,,, NOTHING good will come from interaction with her. Jump on your phone and call a buddy a friend ... .a friend who is a girl ... .call and talk to the call center for one of the presidential candidates ... .tell them you're undecided and they'll talk your ear off.  Laugh on the phone ... .DON'T LOOK AT HER! 

She's thinking she's in control of YOU & your world ... .NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!  YOU AND ONLY YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOU AND YOUR WORLD! 

You got this!  You got this!  Let me know how that phone call goes to the Bernie campaign ... .LOL 

JQ

Thanks again for this, JQ. Just re-read it when I heard her laughing it up at lunch near my desk. I popped in my earbuds, fired up my favorite podcast, reached out to a friend via facebook messenger and I'm doing better.

I'm in control of my world!

ANEZ,

See you got this!  Excellent work popping in the ear buds and reaching out to a FB buddy!   hmmm Strong in the mind & will you are ... .Master Yoda would be proud.   Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)   Keep a positive attitude helps with a positive mind!  Never forget ... .YOU are the only one in control of YOUR world!  Put it on a sticky & put it on the mirror at home, somewhere in your cube at work, on the car visor to constantly remind you ... .while your at it ... .put the 3 C's on there too!

Now enjoy the rest of your day ! 

JQ
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kc sunshine
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« Reply #55 on: January 26, 2016, 07:16:46 PM »

You guys are GREAT!

Thanks for the social media encouragement! So far so good! And it's not even her social media (she's not on any-- I've always wondered why... .is it too public for her?) Anyway, so the person who's social media I'd be checking is my replacement... .that wouldn't be any fun, would it? Just misery and who needs it?

I love the image of you, Anez, popping in your earphones and laughing away while you chat with your friend. That's the best.

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Anez
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Posts: 430


« Reply #56 on: January 26, 2016, 11:40:49 PM »

You guys are GREAT!

Thanks for the social media encouragement! So far so good! And it's not even her social media (she's not on any-- I've always wondered why... .is it too public for her?) Anyway, so the person who's social media I'd be checking is my replacement... .that wouldn't be any fun, would it? Just misery and who needs it?

I love the image of you, Anez, popping in your earphones and laughing away while you chat with your friend. That's the best.

Good work, KC! Keep doing good things for yourself. Don't look at social media it will only make you feel bad and who wants to feel bad?

You're doing awesome. Pat yourself on the back.
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Turkish
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned in Feb 2013.
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Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #57 on: January 27, 2016, 02:14:14 AM »

Staff only

This thread has reached its posting limit. Please feel free to start a new topic to continue the discussion.

T
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