I'm wrecked

[JQ]

Hey Group,

@Driver ... .there is A LOT of sound advice and guidance that Penelope is giving you!    

Driver you said, "nobody actually notices I'm down on my knees, /I don't know why I am still hoping. I feel so lost and confused./It is just from inside that I am a wreck."  

Penelope said, "But i do believe I will come out of this stronger/ You can cry as much as you need to but at some point you will have to take the control of your life back in your hands. You deserve much better. You know that you have the ability to feel strongly for someone. So make sure you give the opportunity to your self to share those emotions with someone who will be able to reciprocate and with whom the relationship will only grow stronger with time!"

Here's an observation I've made during this string of post ... .Driver you might have been coming and reading post from others, the references and maybe some books ... .BUT what you HAVEN'T  done is share your story, you pain, frustration, your ideas of grasping at ideas that might work with your BPD relationship?

Penelope has been here a while ... .she has shared her situation filled with pain, frustration, wanting input from others and having a 2 way dialog in regards to her BPD relationship.  She is telling you positive thoughts and giving off some positive energy and letting you know that if you open your eyes there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Shutting your eyes to the situation is only going to allow you to continue down this path your currently walking.

NO ONE can do it ALL by themselves ... ."A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong. Chief Tecumseh"  Are you picking up what I'm putting down here ... .in order to move forward we talked it out ... .either with our therapist or a friend or here via these forums. Penelope is further along in her recovery because she has been talking & sharing longer ... .it's just an observation ... .

JQ

[Penelope35]

Thank you JQ!  You feedback makes me feel good cause I actually didn't expect to be in a position to encourage others at this point when I am still struggling my self. But you are right, I do see light at the end of the tunnel and this is what I am trying to pass on to driver I guess. I have been here since the end November which is when my ex broke up with me. This forum and your all's experiences has helped me tremendously. I don't think I would be anywhere near seing the light in such a short time if it wasn't for this forum.

Driver please follow this suggestion of posting and reading because it really does help. I promise

[Penelope35]

If you see my first posts here I was totally lost and confused. I was asking for people's opinions in despair. Now everything makes a little more sense and that feeling of devastation is off of me in a big way. I am now left with sadness but at least is a step forward. That's the way I look at it.

[Driver]

JQ and Peneloppe35,

You're both right.

What astonishes me is that when I read some copy-pasted e-mails here from people's exBPDgfs, I have the impression to read the e-mails of my exBPDgf! It's amazing and eery at the time. It is as if all of them were one and only person.

And, I guess that by comparing all those e-mails from different people that post here, it makes me realize that the BPD is the sad reality. It doesn't remove my sadness, but it certainly helps keeping no-contact with my ex.