Can I talk about my ex sister in law on this board?

[unicorn2014]

Recently she really triggered me. She contacted me to tell me that her son had seen my daughter posting about drug use on social media and wanted to know what was going on with my daughter. The first thing she asked for was her brother's phone number because he had not given her his new phone number. She also wanted her brother to help my daughter and as her brother is actually a known drug dealer in the community that would not be possible. I can not tell you how upset those texts made me feel. My daughter did clean up one of her social media accounts but then I found out that she had still kept one related to drug use so I had to delete that social media off her iPod and restrict it so that she could not add apps. She destroyed my iPhone when she was at my brother's over spring break and her iPhone is currently being fixed so she does not have an iPhone.

When I asked my ex sister in law if I could have her address so I could send her a postcard she ignored my request and I haven't heard from her since.

I can't tell you how angry it makes me feel that my ex sister in law thinks she can just text me anytime she wants but has no obligation to respond to me. My ex sister in law as well as my ex mother in law have been mean from me to the start however 20 years ago I did not know that kind of behavior was a red flag so I didn't stay away. Now I know better.

Furthermore my daughter called her cousin a snitch and that really broke my heart as previously my daughter used to adore that cousin. He was the closest in age to her and as my daughter is an only child he was like a brother to her.

I can not express how frustrating this whole situation makes me feel.

[Kwamina]

Yes you can also talk about ex in-laws here

I am sorry you are feeling frustrated, hopefully getting your story out here will help

Recently she really triggered me. She contacted me to tell me that her son had seen my daughter posting about drug use on social media and wanted to know what was going on with my daughter.

When was the last time you had contact with her? Does she contact you regularly?

When I asked my ex sister in law if I could have her address so I could send her a postcard she ignored my request and I haven't heard from her since.

Are you trying to have some sort of at least cordial relationship with here so they can be a part of your daughter's life? Was that the reason you wanted to send her a postcard?

I can't tell you how angry it makes me feel that my ex sister in law thinks she can just text me anytime she wants but has no obligation to respond to me.

Has it always been this way that she doesn't respond to you or are you just talking about this one occasion?

My ex sister in law as well as my ex mother in law have been mean from me to the start however 20 years ago I did not know that kind of behavior was a red flag so I didn't stay away. Now I know better.

Being treated meanly isn't pleasant at all so I understand why this would bother you. In what ways have they been mean to you? Could you give some examples?

Once we know better, we can also do better. How they behave is up to them, but how you let them treat you is up to you. Also for dealing with hostile ex in-laws, boundaries are essential.

Furthermore my daughter called her cousin a snitch and that really broke my heart as previously my daughter used to adore that cousin. He was the closest in age to her and as my daughter is an only child he was like a brother to her.

Does your daughter still have contact with her cousin or had their relationship already become strained before this incident?

Take care

[unicorn2014]

Yes you can also talk about ex in-laws here

I am sorry you are feeling frustrated, hopefully getting your story out here will help

Recently she really triggered me. She contacted me to tell me that her son had seen my daughter posting about drug use on social media and wanted to know what was going on with my daughter.

When was the last time you had contact with her? Does she contact you regularly?

This was right before Spring Break, so the first week of April. No she does not contact me regularly.

When I asked my ex sister in law if I could have her address so I could send her a postcard she ignored my request and I haven't heard from her since.

Are you trying to have some sort of at least cordial relationship with here so they can be a part of your daughter's life? Was that the reason you wanted to send her a postcard?

Not really but since she reached out to me I thought I'd be friendly. Apparently she didn't want to be friendly with me.

I can't tell you how angry it makes me feel that my ex sister in law thinks she can just text me anytime she wants but has no obligation to respond to me.

Has it always been this way that she doesn't respond to you or are you just talking about this one occasion?

She's never directly texted me like that before . I usually don't talk to her.

My ex sister in law as well as my ex mother in law have been mean from me to the start however 20 years ago I did not know that kind of behavior was a red flag so I didn't stay away. Now I know better.

I need to get ready to go out so I will finish the second half of this post later. Thank you for participating.

[unicorn2014]

My ex sister in law as well as my ex mother in law have been mean from me to the start however 20 years ago I did not know that kind of behavior was a red flag so I didn't stay away. Now I know better.

Being treated meanly isn't pleasant at all so I understand why this would bother you. In what ways have they been mean to you? Could you give some examples?

Hi Kwamina, now I finally have time to give this my full undivided attention.

Let's see, I remember when I first met my ex sister in law, she was critical of my physical appearance. I remember when I first met my ex mother in law, she wanted to know why I wanted to go out with her son and not with someone of my own race (my ex and I are different races). She asked this in a hostile not friendly manner, I don't know that there is a friendly manner to ask that question.

Does your daughter still have contact with her cousin or had their relationship already become strained before this incident?

Take care

I do not know. As far as I know before that incident everything was fine. My daughter called her cousin a snitch and as far as I know that was it.

[Kwamina]

Have you heard from your ex SIL again?

Let's see, I remember when I first met my ex sister in law, she was critical of my physical appearance. I remember when I first met my ex mother in law, she wanted to know why I wanted to go out with her son and not with someone of my own race (my ex and I are different races). She asked this in a hostile not friendly manner, I don't know that there is a friendly manner to ask that question.

I don't know if there's a friendly way to ask this either  A question like that probably always has a hostile undertone no matter how 'friendly' a person would ask it.

Is the difference in race still something your ex in-laws make a problem about? Does your ex SIL still make critical comments about your physical appearance?

Having such comments directed at you isn't pleasant at all so I definitely understand why you would want to distance yourself from them and shield yourself from this type of behavior from them.

[unicorn2014]

Hi kwamina haven't heard back from her. I heard from the wife of an ex brother in law, they are coming to town and want to see us. Both of them contacted me to get my ex's phone number, he does not stay in contact with his siblings.

My ex mil has not responded to my last post card. I try to stay in touch for my daughters sake.

[Kwamina]

I heard from the wife of an ex brother in law, they are coming to town and want to see us. Both of them contacted me to get my ex's phone number, he does not stay in contact with his siblings.

Do you have a good relationship with them? Do your ex BIL and his wife treat you better than your ex SIL and ex MIL?

My ex mil has not responded to my last post card. I try to stay in touch for my daughters sake.

They are still your daughter's family so I understand why you would want to make an effort here. However, it would be nice if it came from both ways of course and you weren't the only one making an effort. It is what it is though.

[unicorn2014]

I haven't heard back from my ex BIL's wife. I do know at one point I felt shunned by my ex BIL so I do not know. I did hear from my ex last night, but he was just "checking in" which means he was checking up on our daughter who currently does not want to speak to him.