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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Motivation & Strength" SEALisms  (Read 469 times)
JQ
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« on: May 02, 2016, 01:31:25 PM »

Hi Group!   

Ok, time for some motivation and strength exercises for everyone ... .excerpts from a book ... ."Living with a SEAL" that has REAL applications for what you, me, everyone experiences not just from a r/s with a BPD, but life in general ... .

So many of us live our lives on autopilot. We do the same thing every day: wake up, go to work, come home, and have dinner. Repeat. When I found myself drifting in that direction, I had to make a change. My life and SEAL's nomadic take-no-prisoners life merging (or should I say colliding) for a period of time is what I needed. It was wild and unexpected. And while I got in the best shape of my life during my time with SEAL, the lessons I learned from him extended way beyond fitness. Here are a few that rubbed off on me:

1. When you think you're done, you're only 40 percent done.

This is one of my favorite "SEALisms." There is always more in your tank than what your mind is telling you. If you can train yourself to get past that initial warning of "I'm done" from your brain, then you probably have 60 percent more in you. As SEAL would also say, "Control your mind, son."

2. The harder the challenge, the more alive you feel.

One of the most important lessons I learned from SEAL was the level of appreciation he has for difficulty. The harder the training, the more courage it took to do and the more satisfaction was derived from it. As he would say "coasting is for wimps." It's when you dig deep that you feel the most alive.

3. You have to be willing to get uncomfortable to get better.

SEAL had a quote he often used that I love: "If it doesn't suck, we don't do it." He taught me that we all have a reserve tank and that only by pushing ourselves to our limits can we discover what is in our individual tank. As I look back on my own journey, most of my successes in life have come from learning how to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

4. It's not what you do, it's how you do it.

It was incredible to watch a man for 31 days who was so focused on doing everything in his life the right way. It started with simple tasks like being on time (which he ALWAYS was) but extended to every aspect of his daily life. His bed was made like a professional — every morning. His form on all of his exercises had to be perfect. His attitude in life was: Do it 110 percent or don't even bother doing it. He was never impressed with accomplishments — he was impressed with how you got there.

5. Enjoy the pain.

While most of us spend our lives trying to avoid pain, SEAL sought it out. His believes that you can't possibly reach your true potential without truly pushing your limits. To get there will take some tough challenges and pain. Enjoy it. Embrace it. The pain is a reminder of your hard work.


EMBRACE THE SUCK!

j
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Makersmarksman
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« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2016, 01:40:24 PM »

"Love the hurt because it's all you got right now" - my Senior DI at Parris Island was fond of telling us that repeatedly.
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Lucky Jim
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« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2016, 03:25:11 PM »

Hey JQ, If it was easy, everybody would be doing it!  LJ
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
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