Divorced ExBPD coming to get belongings and Im frightened

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My divorce from my BPDexh was final on March 21. He had left a ton of clothing behind and the court ordered a police escort to accompany him to my home to get his things (packed in my garage, he isn't allowed in the house per our judge). The sheriff just called me to schedule the p/u date on June 7. I went into a panic with just the thought of my BPDexh being here. I am worried he will twist some lie in front of the officer. He did this with the police a number of times before he was removed from the house last September. I was doing so well and feeling safe and now feeling anxious. Anyone have any advice when exBPD came to get their belongings? Thank you!

[mm1024]

My divorce from my BPDexh was final on March 21. He had left a ton of clothing behind and the court ordered a police escort to accompany him to my home to get his things (packed in my garage, he isn't allowed in the house per our judge). The sheriff just called me to schedule the p/u date on June 7. I went into a panic with just the thought of my BPDexh being here. I am worried he will twist some lie in front of the officer. He did this with the police a number of times before he was removed from the house last September. I was doing so well and feeling safe and now feeling anxious. Anyone have any advice when exBPD came to get their belongings? Thank you!

[LilMe]

He most likely will lie and say crazy stuff, but who cares?  When I attempted to get my things with a police officer escort, uBPD started talking about our sex life, in detail!  How embarrassing!  But I am sure the police are used to this type of thing.

Must you even see him?  Would it be possible for you to put his stuff out where he could just take it and you not even be there; just stay inside the house?  If an officer is there he wouldn't be able to take anything else or cause trouble.

I hope it goes well for you!

[mm1024]

Thank you! Yes, I will be in the house and leaving his things boxed up in front of my garage. The officer told me that there will be two officers and only the officers will come to talk to me. my BPDexh is also Anti-social PD and NPD. Thank you for being supportive.

[flourdust]

Could you ask a friend or family member to be with you on that day? Someone to help keep you grounded and distracted?

[ForeverDad]

Could you ask a friend or family member to be with you on that day? Someone to help keep you grounded and distracted?

Clearly your sense of Safety With Distance is being triggered.  Perhaps you're feeling that is a boundary violation and worry he would be emboldened to return again at a later time?  If the items are already boxed and are going to be set outside, is there a reason they can't be held at a more neutral location?  Probably the court felt the items being set outside the garage would be enough.  And even that is stressful for you.  I like flourdust's suggestion.   You need not be alone.

I'm assuming you've already changed the locks and security passwords?

[mm1024]

Thank you ForeverDad and Flourdust. I think you're right, my fear is triggered by the thought he may return at a later date. All locks have been changed and I will have a friend here with me as well. My goal is not to even look out the window and see him, since I feel that would trigger anxiety. I feel like this is a total boundary violation since he has no boundaries nor has he ever respected boundaries of mine or anyone for that matter. He is also Anti-Social PD, which in his mind he has no rules or laws he needs to follow, regardless of an officer present or not.

Thank you all for your support.