adult daughter wit BPD.

elderlycoper

Fewer than 3 Posts

Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1

« on: May 31, 2016, 12:13:27 PM »

I am 65 and I have a 36 year old daughter with borderline. I raised her alone from the age of 4. I now live in an assisted living home. My daughter lives on her own. I am having trouble dealing with her. How long must I be her support system? Help1


	Logged

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

Mutt

Retired Staff

Offline

Gender: Male

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10396

Re: adult daughter wit BPD.

« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2016, 12:37:35 PM »

Hi ederlycoper,

Welcome

I'm sorry to hear that. I can see how frustrating and hopeless that would feel when we have a loved one that suffers from BPD. Many of our members here can relate with you and offer guidance and support. What type of problems are you having? You mention support system, is she asking for money etc? You're not alone.


	Logged

"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb

lbjnltx

Retired Staff

Offline

Gender: Female

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: widowed
Posts: 7757

we can all evolve into someone beautiful

Re: adult daughter wit BPD.

« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2016, 08:21:23 PM »

Hi elderlycoper,

So glad to have you here with us.

Many of us parents struggle to know how much, when and if we should support our adult children. It really depends on what you are able to do and if you are supporting or enabling. There is a difference.

Whenever we do for our kids what they can do for themselves we are enabling them to stay dependent on us and not learn to be responsible for themselves. Dealing with the aftermath of saying "no" can be a scary thing as our kids can sometimes use emotional blackmail and we can sometimes play fortune teller. Our fears about the consequences of denying a request can be conquered with good communication skills like validation and using Support Empathy Truth statements.

We can support you as you learn these skills and begin to get a foothold on your limits regarding "support" whether it is emotional or financial.

I look forward to hearing back from you and learning more about you and your relationship with your daughter.

lbjnltx


	Logged

BPDd-13 Residential Treatment - keep believing in miracles

Brokenmother

Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 8

Re: adult daughter wit BPD.

« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2016, 10:00:47 PM »

Is there somewhere I can read more about these support empathy truth statements?


	Logged

Mutt

Retired Staff

Offline

Gender: Male

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10396

Re: adult daughter wit BPD.

« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2016, 10:19:43 PM »

Quote from: Brokenmother on June 02, 2016, 10:00:47 PM

Is there somewhere I can read more about these support empathy truth statements?

Absolutely, you can find it here Tools


	Logged

"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb

Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1] Go Up

BPDFamily.com > Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD > Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD > Topic: adult daughter wit BPD.

« previous next »



Diagnosis + Treatment The Big Picture Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ] Five Dimensions of Human Personality Think It's BPD but How Can I Know? DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders Treatment of BPD [ Video ] Getting a Loved One Into Therapy Top 50 Questions Members Ask Home page Forum List of discussion groups Making a first post Find last post Discussion group guidelines Tips Romantic relationship in or near breakup Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD Sibling or Parent with BPD Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD Partner or Spouse with BPD Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship Tools Wisemind Ending conflict (3 minute lesson) Listen with Empathy Don't Be Invalidating Setting boundaries On-line CBT Book reviews Member workshops About Mission and Purpose Website Policies Membership Eligibility Please Donate