Hello chriscaz,
I can certainly understand the frustration and confusion you must be feeling when faced with BPD type behavior. The state of the relationship would appear to be triggering him as he feels closer to you than you do to him. Given this, maintaining a friendship will be difficult at best especially if it at one time went further than friendship. This will be something you will have to navigate carefully.
What is making you uncomfortable about visiting him?
More details will help you gain some clarity and help us help you.
I have found writing it all down helps to organize your thoughts and emotions, especially when you are in the
FOG.
You will need strong
Boundaries if you are to go forward with a relationship/friendship with him. This weekend might a good opportunity to start setting some healthy boundaries?
Email notifications can be set in your
user profile. Look in the left box for "Notifications and Email" and "Personal Message Options". I believe the default is no notifications but you should check to make sure.