Admit to yourself... .really admit to yourself that you are exhausted and changes MUST be made.
I totally relate. I have several arthritic/injured joints from military service. Trying to do more than you can, is actually counterproductive. Yes, it is always good to "push a little" to be a touch better. But if you can give a 4 (out of 1-10 effort) and you are attempting to give an 8, because you think you "have to", you will likely get results of a 3 effort.
Hopefully that made sense.
Prioritize and then let the undone stuff... just be undone.
I am starting to admit that that to myself. I am exhausted, am tired- physically, mentally & emotionally.
I understand to well about trying to do to much being counterproductive. Even more so because I am severely allergic to dust mites. So my allergist said to not even be in the house when dusting or vacuuming is taking place and not to be around smoke (husband smokes and smells like a cigarette). If I dont do the cleaning it doesn't get done. When I have a good day and have a bunch of energy I will power clean, but then I will end up making my self sick in the process and be out of commission for a few days.
His cigarettes aggravate my allergies too.
Do you have an autistic specialist? Make sure you get one and that "caregivers" attend the sessions with him so they can hear directly from the specialist, how to treat your son. That way you are not the authority figure.
If an adult is no willing to participate in sessions with the expert, then they must defer care to those with proper knowledge.
Do you have recordings of him saying these things?
FF
I don't have an autism specialist yet. He was diagnosed near the end of this past school year. I do have him in therapy with his twin sister (i think she may be autistic too). I plan to contact CMH, so that he can get a specialist. That is a good idea to have someone else tell him how to handle S9.
I don't have any recordings. My D14, D9, D4 and the baby all get to hear all of his rants and rages and threats. My 14 yr old told me later that she didn't know whether to call 911 or not. He is that scary. He hasn't actually hit someone yet, but I don't want to wait around for that to happen.
Does your husband work?
FF
He does work. He works hard most of the time. He will go thru phases where he will say home 1 to 2 days of the work week. But he gets paid in cash. I never know how much he actually made. He will get mad at me and refuse to give me bill money. Say hes just going to stack it. Other times he will pay it no problem. I have to underestimate the amount for bills and play a balancing act because if the bills are too much he will rage about and find a way to make it my fault. I never know who is coming home on payday. It is really hard to plan, budget and pay bills when you can't depend on the income of someone who wants to be worshiped for everything he does as "head of the household" and "the breadwinner".
