Wife had me fooled, now what?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi guys, my BPD wife who has acted the same way for over 2 years, always getting offended for no reason, not speaking for weeks at a time etc suddenly changed early this year.  I was shocked because the change was sudden.  She now wanted to make me breakfast and dinner or make sure that I had something to eat anyways.  She would send a message or two throughout the day and say I love you and want to cuddle and all those sweet things.  I was amazed because she has never been able to go more than a few days without incident before and now more than 3 months.  I had wondered if there was some miraculous cure that I did not know about.  I suspected that it could have had something to do with her son who lives in another country (and who I did not know about when we married).  Her brother who takes care of him has now found a job and says she has to take care of her responsibilities.  Every other day in the past when she had her moods she would say she wanted to go home to her country.  Now she would not go for any reason, even when I tried to convince her to go she said no.  So she wanted to get the paperwork done for her son to come here and I am not sure if that had something to do with it because she doesn't tell me too much but she mentioned it several times and asked me what should we do.

When I say there was not a single incident in 3 months I mean there was not a single incident.  Three days ago it ended just as quickly as it started, she asked my son to wash his hands and he said he already did it and she told him to do it again.  I got involved and told him to do it because he is not going to win this argument.  She now thinks I took his side and she said she is not going to say anything anymore and well the only thing she has said since then was this morning she asked me if I wanted any of the food that I brought home last night because if not she would take it to work for lunch.  Last night I looked directly at her because she does this so often where she would not answer and then sware to Jesus that she did.  I said I am on my way to my meeting, then I stood there, she looked up briefly then looked back down and began texting on her phone again so I just stood there and then she says "I said ok".  I said no you didn't I was standing right here looking at you because I knew you would say that.  Then I left and went to my meeting and brought back the food, nothing was said until this morning when she asked me if I wanted some.

Has anyone ever seen this where a pwBPD would act normal for that period of time?  I am so tired of this situation.  I want to get out, but I don't know how.  When she was acting normal I was telling myself maybe I can do this, but when I remember the hell I have been through the past few years I know I cannot continue to live like this.

[TommyBahama]

Hi guys, my BPD wife who has acted the same way for over 2 years, always getting offended for no reason, not speaking for weeks at a time etc suddenly changed early this year.  I was shocked because the change was sudden.  She now wanted to make me breakfast and dinner or make sure that I had something to eat anyways.  She would send a message or two throughout the day and say I love you and want to cuddle and all those sweet things.  I was amazed because she has never been able to go more than a few days without incident before and now more than 3 months.  I had wondered if there was some miraculous cure that I did not know about.  I suspected that it could have had something to do with her son who lives in another country (and who I did not know about when we married).  Her brother who takes care of him has now found a job and says she has to take care of her responsibilities.  Every other day in the past when she had her moods she would say she wanted to go home to her country.  Now she would not go for any reason, even when I tried to convince her to go she said no.  So she wanted to get the paperwork done for her son to come here and I am not sure if that had something to do with it because she doesn't tell me too much but she mentioned it several times and asked me what should we do.

When I say there was not a single incident in 3 months I mean there was not a single incident.  Three days ago it ended just as quickly as it started, she asked my son to wash his hands and he said he already did it and she told him to do it again.  I got involved and told him to do it because he is not going to win this argument.  She now thinks I took his side and she said she is not going to say anything anymore and well the only thing she has said since then was this morning she asked me if I wanted any of the food that I brought home last night because if not she would take it to work for lunch.  Last night I looked directly at her because she does this so often where she would not answer and then sware to Jesus that she did.  I said I am on my way to my meeting, then I stood there, she looked up briefly then looked back down and began texting on her phone again so I just stood there and then she says "I said ok".  I said no you didn't I was standing right here looking at you because I knew you would say that.  Then I left and went to my meeting and brought back the food, nothing was said until this morning when she asked me if I wanted some.

Has anyone ever seen this where a pwBPD would act normal for that period of time?  I am so tired of this situation.  I want to get out, but I don't know how.  When she was acting normal I was telling myself maybe I can do this, but when I remember the hell I have been through the past few years I know I cannot continue to live like this.

[Thereeldeel]

Any chance she went on meds without you knowing? My wife went on abilify during our engagement and we went a similar length of time without incident. Once she stopped taking the medicine (she didn't like that she gained 10 pounds as a side affect) things disintegrated. Our relationship and several other things falling apart in her life recently inspired her to give it another go but we haven't had the same result as the first time.

[TommyBahama]

I'm sure she wasn't on any medication, she took some vitamins that are just regular vitamins but that was after the niceness started.  I just can't figure this one out.