Out of curiosity

[FallBack!Monster]

Idk if Im asking the right questions. I hope somebody here can answer me. My half brother went over to speak with my exbfwBPD. My ex toll my brother he don't like where he live now but he feels bad for leaving me and he wants to come back home but don't know how to face me. Also that he is going back to counseling. Probably he think my brother know more or feel comfortable talking to another man. I think he see him like a father figure. Anyway when my brother ask for what? he said he was diagnosed with bipolar, Anxiety disorder, and something else my brother couldn't remember when he was 32 years old. He is 38 now and my oldest brother is 51. My question is, can a person get cured from BPD?  What is DBT training really for?  Will it help with impulsivity? Excessive spending?
Manage what in particular? Or is it nothing but a way to teach people like that how to behave normal in front of normal people?
He have a good job but is terrible handling his finances. Have my house full of things he don't use. I now found out a lot of things he said wasn't true and in general he is not mindful of much. He did cook for me all the time and never talk bad to me. I give you all this information because I trying to find out which of his bad habits can going to counseling help him with? or help us as a couple with? I loose trust this past few weeks. I didn't tell him he can come back or decided that I want him to either. until somebody can help me see in simple terms what DBT can do for us.  Maybe somebody here can. I feel like im going crazy.  Thank you

[Lonely_Astro]

Hey Done,

Welcome 

So I can better understand and and make sure you find the right board, are you looking to detach from the R/s or are you wondering how you can reconcile and improve your R/s?  I ask because if it's the latter, you may find more replies on the improving board.

Again, welcome. You're among friends... .we just want to make sure you find the board that is the most beneficial to you

[FallBack!Monster]

Hey Done,

Welcome 

So I can better understand and and make sure you find the right board, are you looking to detach from the R/s or are you wondering how you can reconcile and improve your R/s?  I ask because if it's the latter, you may find more replies on the improving board.

Again, welcome. You're among friends... .we just want to make sure you find the board that is the most beneficial to you

I join here when my friend signed me up after my boyfriend started to act up. She told me I have to leave him and this board was going to help me detach. Then he left me.  We not together still and I don't know that I want to bring him back. That's why im asking   if you think iis better for some body to answer me elsewhere I welcome your expertise and thank you.

[eprogeny]

Welcome! 

It sounds like you may have come here thinking this site is about Bipolar Disorder.  While it isn't about that (it's about Borderline Personality Disorder) the good news is that these two mental illnesses are both treatable though are not curable.  The main difference is that Bipolar Disorder is seen as a neurological condition whereas the other is a psychological one.

Bipolar Disorder can definitely be treated.  There are medications as well as therapy and other methods that can definitely help minimize the symptoms. 

DBT is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that can teach someone how to manage their symptoms so that they are in control rather than their illness.  It takes a lot of time to learn the skills and to apply them effectively, but if your boyfriend is committed to the therapy it will help him very much.

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi Done4better-

My question is, can a person get cured from BPD?  What is DBT training really for?  Will it help with impulsivity? Excessive spending?
Manage what in particular? Or is it nothing but a way to teach people like that how to behave normal in front of normal people?

To answer your question, no, borderline personality disorder cannot be cured, although borderlines who commit to long term therapy can learn dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which is a method of "mellowing out" basically, since borderlines feel emotions intensely and have trouble regulating them, which you've probably noticed, and the therapy can teach tools that help with that.  Impulsivity is a trait of the disorder, done in response to those strong emotions, and using DBT to manage them could lessen it.

So what is your goal?  It sounds like you are not currently together, and you're wondering if you want to be?

[FallBack!Monster]

So what is your goal?  It sounds like you are not currently together, and you're wondering if you want to be?

I'm sorry I didn't mean cured as Gon for ever. and I understand what you say clearly. He not going to get no better but he can slow down somethings From happening as often. I'm tired of feeling scared and worried. I wish I didn't fall for him but I like him to much. He haven't talk to me for weeks now and we didn't have any fight. He told me he was going somewhere to take care of something's next thing i know he stop answering his phone. My head been hurting for about 3 weeks now and right now I think I rather go through the pain then deal with it happening over and over again. I feel confused ,mad and I really don't know what to make of all this. I feel as if I loose a very good friend but I don't know it's like I never knew him for real. I'm too fragile I can't live that way but I love him you know. Im scared now of seeing him. Like he become a stranger to me but I don't want to scream at him. Yesterday I wanted him to hold me like we use to hold but today I'm skeptical of who he is. I writing but my thinking is scrambled. sorry

[fromheeltoheal]

I'm too fragile I can't live that way but I love him you know. Im scared now of seeing him. Like he become a stranger to me but I don't want to scream at him. Yesterday I wanted him to hold me like we use to hold but today I'm skeptical of who he is. I writing but my thinking is scrambled. sorry

Yes, I know.  I understand, we all do here, and it's OK to be exactly who you are and where you are, this is a safe place.  And the end of these relationships are very confusing and painful, like the relationship was probably, and you'll go through lots of emotions as you detach; it's common to have a conflict between your head and your heart too, you don't want to be with but you do.  That will pass as you grieve, process the emotions, and detach, and best thing to do is take very good care of yourself, read a lot of posts here, and post as much as you need to.  Take care of you!