New here and really struggling

[Lostandshattered]

I don't even have any idea where to start or what to say. My daughter was diagnosed with BPD this summer after a second extended stay in an acute facility. The diagnoses explains my daughters behaviors but doesn't help my husband (her stepfather), my sons or myself cope with all the destruction she leaves. We have dealt with 3 hospitalizations in the last 10 months all accompanied with allegations against my husband my sons and many others twice now we are dealing with criminal investigations (the first time and now this third time). This time my daughter was placed in protective custody because of her allegations and trying to get the detectives to look at the history, diagnoses, as well as myself and husband to get the entire picture rather than taking what my daughter says and running with it is probably one of the most difficult things I have faced ever. I feel unheard in everything like the worst parent in the world. I don't know where to turn my whole world feels as though it is crashing down around me and for the first time in my adult life I am scared to be honest about how I feel, scared of my daughter and for her scared I won't be able to hold my family together. My daughters allegations have been towards everyone in the house and I am just completely lost.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Lostandshattered,

I am so sorry  that is a lot for any one person to go through, much less experience it multiple times. How old is your daughter?

Dealing with the legal threats while trying to hold your family together and trying to come to grips with a loved one's mental illness is something I know well. It is the kind of nightmare I would not wish on anyone. People in legal field and law enforcement do not understand mental illness, is my takeaway, least of all a personality disorder.

What are the behaviors that have led to your daughter's extended stays in acute facilities? Is she in protective custody within those facilities? Are you in contact with her?

I imagine you feel your entire world is dependent on you and what you do. It's a huge burden to carry, and can feel so lonely.

We're here to walk with you, Lostandshattered.

 

[Lostandshattered]

Hi Lostandshattered,

I am so sorry  that is a lot for any one person to go through, much less experience it multiple times. How old is your daughter?

Dealing with the legal threats while trying to hold your family together and trying to come to grips with a loved one's mental illness is something I know well. It is the kind of nightmare I would not wish on anyone. People in legal field and law enforcement do not understand mental illness, is my takeaway, least of all a personality disorder.

What are the behaviors that have led to your daughter's extended stays in acute facilities? Is she in protective custody within those facilities? Are you in contact with her?

I imagine you feel your entire world is dependent on you and what you do. It's a huge burden to carry, and can feel so lonely.

We're here to walk with you, Lostandshattered.

 

My daughter is 15 soon to be 16. Her stays are extended due to her saying she is suicidal, depressed, hearing voices (this had been found to be untrue multiple times besides just in facilities), self harming outside and while in facility care, negative attention seeking, making allegations, habitual lying, attempting to create inappropriate relationships inside and outside of care facilities and home with both peers and staff. This is the first time protective custody has been in place. I can have contact with her but finding it hard for multiple reasons (my emotions, her manipulation, and her not ever talking to me and when she does there is very little truth in what she says). She was also diagnosed with ODD, depression, anxiety. I have mental health and physical health issues as well and all of this is taking its toll on me. It is an emotional Rollercoaster ride I don't want to be on.