Husband has Parkinson's Disease and my step daughter has BPD

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My step daughter's erratic / mean behavior toward me has persisted over 20 years.  My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2002.  I have finally discovered that what's behind her behavior is most likely BPD. It was quite a discovery and am so pleased to finally have the scales fall from my eyes. 

Unfortunately, my husband and his ex wife have been supporting her odd behavior for the majority of her lifetime.  In other words, seem to be co-dependent.

Another complication is that husband's Parkinson's has a mild cognitive element.  And, he loves his daughter dearly and hates to hear that I think there is a problem with her behavior.  He may not be able to join me in the journey to heal the family.

Any thoughts?  She's acting up to the extreme just now.

[amazingpd]

My step daughter's erratic / mean behavior toward me has persisted over 20 years.  My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2002.  I have finally discovered that what's behind her behavior is most likely BPD. It was quite a discovery and am so pleased to finally have the scales fall from my eyes. 

Unfortunately, my husband and his ex wife have been supporting her odd behavior for the majority of her lifetime.  In other words, seem to be co-dependent.

Another complication is that husband's Parkinson's has a mild cognitive element.  And, he loves his daughter dearly and hates to hear that I think there is a problem with her behavior.  He may not be able to join me in the journey to heal the family.

Any thoughts?  She's acting up to the extreme just now.

[DreamGirl]

Hi amazingpd,

 

I really hear you on struggling talking to your husband about his daughter --- I'm navigating that slippery slope myself.

How old is she? How often do you see her?

~DG

[amazingpd]

she's 35 and I'm not seeing her much right now, but typically would see her once or twice a week.

[DreamGirl]

she's 35 and I'm not seeing her much right now, but typically would see her once or twice a week.

What is your ultimate goal do you think?

To repair the relationship with her and you? (Is that possible?)

To step out and just not be there when she's around?

Would family therapy be an option?

[livednlearned]

Hi amazingpd,

I'm sorry to hear your husband has Parkinson's  I hope he's managing ok.

My SO's daughter is also (likely) BPD.

What kind of odd behaviors does your SD35 have? How does your husband interact with her?

Glad you found the site 

Welcome and hello!

LnL