Is there a light at the end of the tunnel

[Emmryce]

My husband has BPD. He was hospitalized a week ago. He came home and things have continued to progress. Last night he said some very hurtful things and I did too. It feels like he continues to blame his emotional instability on what I am not doing for him. If there is a fight, he says "It's all your fault" He did this tonight. Our children were home and both kids ended up crying and screaming downstairs. I asked him to stop. He continued. My oldest who has lost many close people in her life started screaming and crying. " Please don't leave me" ( He threatened to leave for a few days with his son (my step son).  He becomes so escalated so quickly. I am not sure how to calm him down. He becomes so angry that he punches holes in walls, takes his head through a wall... .ect... .I keep on thinking. What am I putting my children through? I don't want them to grow up with so much chaos. It is difficult for me to validate him when he becomes so dysregulated. Is there hope for things getting better? I'm wondering if we should separate until he become more skillful. I feel very lost and alone.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[hope2727]

Hello and welcome. I am sorry you are enduring all this. I don't really have any good advice but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. I grew up in a house like yours and I can assure you that I turned out reasonably ok so just be that rock for your kids and they will be ok.

 I wish I had better advice or feedback but I just don't. Sorry. There are good people and lessons in here. Maybe try reading the lessons on the right. -> They helped me a lot.

Meanwhile I am sure other people will have better advice. You are not alone. Keep posting. Hugs.