I don't know where to start...

[Acceptance in NJ]

The past three weeks of my life have been a revelation..."It" has a name, and it's name is BPD. My entire life has been a whirlwind; having a parent and a  sibling with BPD has been an ongoing emotional drain on my nonBP parent and I for so long that I can't even find the words to expressed the relief and validation I feel at this moment in being able to name "it". I am in my 30's, and until now; I could never accurately "explain" my BP parent and sibling, to "others". I could not rap my mind around how to begin to explain their characteristics, because they are so contradictory. They are very smart, creative, giving, caring, hard working, outgoing, adventurous, well-known (life of the party), charming...but on the other side (the side that only my nonBP parent and I witness); they are impulsive, short tempered, hostile, "concrete thinkers", insecure, manipulative and abusive. I've always felt like my nonBP parent and I were so alone in our experience, and only we could relate. My BP parent and siblings' actions have caused, and continue to cause, continuous turmoil in our family life, but they don't see it that way; they blame us for it. They view us as being too sensitive..too boring..too judgemental...incompetent, etc. My nonBP parent and I love them tremendously, and it breaks my heart that they are unable to actually see and understand how we feel about them. All my life, I've just wanted them to be "normal", and for us to have a "normal family". But honestly...I just want Peace.

[Harri]

Hi and welcome.  I am sorry for what brings you here but I am glad you are reaching our for support.  Finally being able to name what has been going on is indeed a huge revelation and very validating.  It can also be painful too sometimes.  We understand here.  You have found a place where you do not need to explain or convince anyone of your experience.  We get it. 

I hope you settle in and share more.  Please feel free to jump into other conversations as well.  We all support each other here.

Again,

[Help for daugher]

I feel that because I wanted to fix my mom and then she would be ok, it kept me on the merry go round. I identified that she most likely will not be ok,. I’m now just trying to avoid her calls for constant help. She drains the energy from me. I now see her constant manipulation to pull me back in to her constant demands for help. I am forever feeling pity and guilt for her painful & crazy life. It’s hard to let go of fixing her. I’ve turned into such a fixer, I try to fix everyone . I hope I can somehow detach .