Replacement "meaning"

[Depression = 72% of members]

I want to understand the meaning. Dose it mean the new gf or bf they moved on with? If so why a "replacement"?


If not what dose it mean?

[Dontknow88]

I want to understand the meaning. Dose it mean the new gf or bf they moved on with? If so why a "replacement"?


If not what dose it mean?

[ynwa]

To me, it is something "shiny" my ex had found. Someone who didn't know them, and who they could latch all their need for attention on. 

For you, just imagine how they treated you in the beginning. You did everything "right" You were so much the best thing ever to them.  They didn't have to deal with "themselves".

That's part an answer, part an assumption.  My breakup is a bit more than a month.  My ex when she contacts me, doesn't seem very happy, or at least knows that she can be that sad, depressed person with me.  I simply can't trust it.  I don't let her know how I'm feeling, and while it stings to be dropped and "replaced".  The replacement can't know what's coming. He knew me, he knew we lived together and he deserves it.  Well not really.  My ex won't change. No replacement is going to be able to make her ok.

I'd bet yours is the same.  Do you think so?

[Skip]

It's passive aggressive lingo that is part of a narrative that "BPD" relationships are predator and prey and after the supply is consumed from the prey, a replacement is sought.

It's an angry, passive aggressive, perspective from people who have been significantly hurt in a relationship with a person with BPD traits.

A more accurate rendition is that both partners got sweep up in a highly idealize love relationship, but the extreme sensitivities of the pwBPD traits (over-expressed both positive and negative), the fragile trust that is easily broken by normal relationship ups and downs, and the resentment for the self-sacrifices made during idealization, ultimately lead, over time, to a devaluation of the relationship and the partner.

[vanx]

You know, I didn't really think about it before, but I guess it is kind of a targeted term. I just wanted to add that I think people use "replacement" too because from what I read on here a lot of exes left one r/l and entered another rather quickly. I could be wrong, but I thought it had to do with the speed. I think I hear this term used outside of BPD context as well. I am just saying my reaction to the term though, as a non-expert!

[kentavr3]

For my opinion BPD/npd can't love. But they can imitate those feelings good. They can't stay alone. They need somebody who provides them moral support, financial support and etc. Those are people called "source". NPD/BPD can't create both sides codependent relationships. As more relationships goes to be closed, NPD/BPD devaluates them. when BPD/npd feels that noting can be taken more or if they feel that "source" suspects that something wrong, they start finding for another source. BY this time , the previous source has been already completely devaluated.  The choosing possibilities of NPD/BPD are very low. They can idealize anybody. Sex for them is only getting pleasure from the process. Accordingly with Otto Kenberg, BPD/NPD has no mature sense of love which is combination of many parameters. I would compare , when you have a bottle of water which is almost empty. You just throw away the old one and get the new one. all of us here were "sources" and "replacements". We thought that we were special. No, we weren't.

[Dontknow88]

To me, it is something "shiny" my ex had found. Someone who didn't know them, and who they could latch all their need for attention on. 

For you, just imagine how they treated you in the beginning. You did everything "right" You were so much the best thing ever to them.  They didn't have to deal with "themselves".

That's part an answer, part an assumption.  My breakup is a bit more than a month.  My ex when she contacts me, doesn't seem very happy, or at least knows that she can be that sad, depressed person with me.  I simply can't trust it.  I don't let her know how I'm feeling, and while it stings to be dropped and "replaced".  The replacement can't know what's coming. He knew me, he knew we lived together and he deserves it.  Well not really.  My ex won't change. No replacement is going to be able to make her ok.

I'd bet yours is the same.  Do you think so?

I agree with you. Like you I thing the "replacement" maybe kind of deserves it.  My ex left me when I was eight months pregnant for one of his new friends that knew about me. Poor thing doesn't even know what's coming to her.  It's not even a matter of if it's a matter of one because last longer or shorter than my relationship with him.

Stay strong

[Dontknow88]

It's passive aggressive lingo that is part of a narrative that "BPD" relationships are predator and prey and after the supply is consumed from the prey, a replacement is sought.

It's an angry, passive aggressive, perspective from people who have been significantly hurt in a relationship with a person with BPD traits.

A more accurate rendition is that both partners got sweep up in a highly idealize love relationship, but the extreme sensitivities of the pwBPD traits (over-expressed both positive and negative), the fragile trust that is easily broken by normal relationship ups and downs, and the resentment for the self-sacrifices made during idealization, ultimately lead, over time, to a devaluation of the relationship and the partner.

Wow thank yo so much. Is there ever hope for them?  Not for them to come back to the relationship but is it ever hope that they can actually find someone/something of true value? Have ever seen or heard of that?

[Dontknow88]

You know, I didn't really think about it before, but I guess it is kind of a targeted term. I just wanted to add that I think people use "replacement" too because from what I read on here a lot of exes left one r/l and entered another rather quickly. I could be wrong, but I thought it had to do with the speed. I think I hear this term used outside of BPD context as well. I am just saying my reaction to the term though, as a non-expert!

That is a pretty good insight. Everything about a holisticly  is so confusing

[Dontknow88]

For my opinion BPD/npd can't love. But they can imitate those feelings good. They can't stay alone. They need somebody who provides them moral support, financial support and etc. Those are people called "source". NPD/BPD can't create both sides codependent relationships. As more relationships goes to be closed, NPD/BPD devaluates them. when BPD/npd feels that noting can be taken more or if they feel that "source" suspects that something wrong, they start finding for another source. BY this time , the previous source has been already completely devaluated.  The choosing possibilities of NPD/BPD are very low. They can idealize anybody. Sex for them is only getting pleasure from the process. Accordingly with Otto Kenberg, BPD/NPD has no mature sense of love which is combination of many parameters. I would compare , when you have a bottle of water which is almost empty. You just throw away the old one and get the new one. all of us here were "sources" and "replacements". We thought that we were special. No, we weren't.

You are so right when you say a  source can be anything. I've noticed a lot of people here say that it have severely downgraded in every possible. Where ever    They get the Attention they need they will go

[Skip]

Wow thank yo so much. Is there ever hope for them?  Not for them to come back to the relationship but is it ever hope that they can actually find someone/something of true value? Have ever seen or heard of that?

I was describing a failed relationship. Not all relationships fail.

[Curiously1]

Wow thank yo so much. Is there ever hope for them?  Not for them to come back to the relationship but is it ever hope that they can actually find someone/something of true value? Have ever seen or heard of that?

There is hope if they go to therapy, if they want to change, if they want to manage their behaviour, other-wise, hell no. The helathier they can get, their relationships will be easier to sustain. The BPD label would no longer apply. There's a lady on YouTube who explained she no longer fits the full criteria of BPD which is a massive improvement on her part.

[hope2727]

To me the term replacement represents that any warm body would to to fill the void they feel. Nothing about me (us) was special or relevant. Someone else would do just as well as long as they validate and don't call the pwBPD on their nonsense. So for me I feel like I am special and have lots to offer to a partner but to my expwBPD any replacement who enables his dysfunction will do.