My wife probably has BPD

[Edwardm]

I was complaining to my doctor about my wife´s strange behaviour, that is affecting me. She suggested me to read Stop Walking on Eggshells (translated to Portuguese) - and yes, it explains everything I was suspecting. For me the name borderline disorder is new, but it is obvious there is a mental disorder. At this point (1/3 of the book) I started to be calmer because I can understand what is happening- but I still don´t know what to do - probably when I finish the book I will. Actually I don´t know if someday she will become a little bit better or I´ll need to survive with this. Anyway, I´m happy to find this community.  Thanks to all.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[livednlearned]

Hi Edwardm,

Welcome and hello 

What are some of the strange behaviors? People here can probably relate!

How do you respond?

We're here to walk with you as you sort out this complicated mental illness.

LnL

[Five28]

"Actually I don´t know if someday she will become a little bit better or I´ll need to survive with this."

I don't believe this is something that will ever go away or get better. You're in it for the long haul. You'll either learn to deal with it, or you'll decide you've had enough and leave.

[ArleighBurke]

It probably won't get any better. However, you can learn to deal with it. You can learn to stop fueling it. You can learn to distance yourself (emotionally) somewhat - to make sure you can survive.

I have known about BPD for the past 3yrs with my wife of 17yrs. I made the mistake of thinking that if I learn all about BPD and do the tecnhiques then we can have a "normal" life. No. She will always be her. She will always act out. But now it doesn't rock me like before. I can stand the storm, then I can get on with life with no regrets, no shame, no confusion.

There is a lot of advice and techniques on this site. Welcome!

[Mustbeabetterway]

Hi Edwardm and welcome!  I am glad you found this site.  If your significant other has some qualities that make you feel as if you are walking on eggshells, then there is much help to be found here.

I have been married to my husband for over 30 years.  Finally, I found out
about BPD.  Through reading about what has been helpful to others and practicing
communication techniques, etc. I have discovered  ways to bring  more peace into my life.

Like ArleighBurke expressed so well, you can learn ways to deal
with the issues and stop fueling them.

Most importantly, you cannot change your partner, you only really have control over yourself.  As you begin to practice positive habits, you can make a better life for yourself.

Welcome!  We look forward to hearing more from you! 

Mustbeabetterway