Hi Egg shells,
I'm so sorry to hear that I can see how emotionally distressing athat would feel when our kids get in trouble with the law. I don't have a child w/BPD, I have an ex wife that displays BPD traits, I completely understand how heartbreaking lack of impulse control and the inability to understand the consequences of your choices.
Many members here can relate with you and offer you guidance and support. Are you see a T? ( therapist ) The maximum benefit is seeing a T concurrently with a support group, you're not alone, we'll walk with you through this.
PS You can find the lessons to the right side of the board