Fearful even asking for guidance and support

[Seeking_Guidance]

Hi there.

This is my first post to this forum. Even in looking for help, I feel fearful that my family member will discover that I am looking for support and attack me. Is this a common feeling among people who have emotionally intense relationships?

Thank you for your help.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Seeking_Guidance:   

This is a safe place to share.    If you are sharing a computer or electronic device that you use to visit this website, you might want to delete history and cookies after visits. Other than that situation, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.  So many others have shared experiences that are so similar to ours, that it can almost seem that our story is being told by someone else, but it isn't.

We are here to listen, when you are comfortable to share your story.  Just don't use names.  You can, also, just ask questions about certain behaviors or situations you are dealing with.  It isn't necessary to tell your whole story, until you want to.

We look forward to hearing more from you and getting to know you.   

[daisymydog]

Hello:

I felt that way too, making my first post after a long absence. I made up a fake name, and started a new, dedicated email account that only I have the password to. Even though I live 3000 miles from my family and am no to low- contact with them.
It's natural to want to protect yourself from people who have hurt you in the past. And it's smart to protect yourself from people who might be actively trying to hurt you now, that's just healthy self-regard! But you do have the right to speak your truth, be heard, and not doubt yourself.

[Mutt]

Hi Seeking_Guidance,  



I'd like to join Naughty Nibbler and daisymydog and welcome you to  bpdfamily. I'd just like to echo what was previously stated, this is a place where you can share your thoughts and feelings without being invalidated. You're not alone.

[michel71]

I can totally understand how you feel. I have been posting on her for quite some time now and to this day I feel that maybe if my uBPDw starts entering "buzz words" in a google search she will come up with my posts. My name is in NO WAY connected to my real identity and for most of us on here I think that is the case.

What I am afraid about is that I might have given too many details of my unique ( I think it is not common anyway) situation which if she were looking on this site might tip her off.

Maybe I am just paranoid. They have a way of getting us to that point for sure.

I always delete my cookies. Even now that I live alone. So that is good advice. All I can add to what you have already gotten is to not put down too many personally identifying details like names of places, where you live, maybe even how many people in your family. You might want to change the sex of them even to throw a fishing family member off.

[Seeking_Guidance]

Thank you to all who have replied to my post. It is really nice to know that this is not an uncommon feeling and to have a forum to speak these things.

[Fie]

Hello Seekingguidance  

I have quite some BPD in my family so I understand your concern !

I'd like to echo what NN said. If you take some precautions like deleting history in case of a common computer, than it should be ok.

Do you struggle with specific questions / situations regarding BPD ?   (Well ok, I guess that's a silly question since our whole life sometimes can seem like a struggle because of BPD      )

[peacemountain]

If you use chrome for browsing, look into Incognito Window. Other browsers have similar features. When you open an incognito window, your history is not saved and the temp folder used for the cookies is deleted when you close the window. All you have to do is remember to close the window when you're done! This is super helpful since an empty history and cache can look suspicious to your SO.