Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
April 27, 2024, 09:57:41 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Been reading the other forums
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Been reading the other forums (Read 348 times)
Gear Jammer
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 36
Been reading the other forums
«
on:
January 25, 2017, 12:36:51 AM »
I've gotten more answers to the questions I've had, what really struck me was BPDs and vacations.
The ex-BPD would come back unhappy after a vacation with her new man and she would take it out on me. WTH you just got back from a very expensive holiday I would expect you to come back in a better mood nope.
She would get back from holidays I would ask her if she had fun, the answer was no, she would explain what happened. Her BF has spent thousands on vacations for her he pays for everything I've lost count on how much money he spent. I would ask him how the vacation went he didn't want to talk about it.
The ex would always take her unhappiness out on me because we worked together and we were still close. Things that I thought would make her happy never worked out she seemed to be unsatisfied in the relationship with her new man than she was with me.
More I read I never want her back, I'm glad I found this site more I read more I learn and all the questions I've had are being answered. I'm also glad to have gotten out of the relationship with her I think I could have ended up with more damage than I did. The guy she's with now is screwed he's beyond recovery, his health physically has declined, pretty sure mentally its just as bad.
Logged
Reforming
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 767
Re: Been reading the other forums
«
Reply #1 on:
January 25, 2017, 04:53:44 PM »
Hi Gear Jammer,
I've browsed the forums on the other side - so to speak and I learned a lot too. I read some posts from BPDs who showed a lot on insight into their illness and who were doing their best to cope with their disorder.
I read others who were angry and lost and clearly struggling to cope.
I imagine that they would probably view these boards in a similar light. In fact I've read posts where they make comparable comments about NONs.
I agree that untreated borderlines often continue the same patterns of behaviour with one partner after another. Feelings of emptiness - unquenchable need is one of the saddest parts of the condition. To quote one of our senior members they want what the don't need and need what they don't want.
It's a serious mental illness that makes them miserable and the fallout can be terrible especially for those who love them most.
Recovery takes a lot of time and work and that's if they have a good support network and are lucky enough to have access to the right kind of treatment.
I think there's a bigger truth here too. I'm not a borderline but I've done a fair bit of therapy. My experience is that change is possible but it's a lot harder than I imagined and it's very easy to default to ingrained behaviour even though it's unhealthy.
It must be even harder for them.
Thanks for sharing
Reforming
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Been reading the other forums
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...