I DONT WANT HIM BACK
I'm at peace, moved on (not new relationship wise but never want him back wise)
It feels good to say "thank you for your honestly but I do not feel the same. This time I'll save me, not cause I want you back but because I don't. but I wish you the best and our child is here when you want to see him"
After that I've always though it would feel good in a "revenge" kind of way but it wasn't like that. It was a true and honest feeling of being free! I said it and whole heartedly meant it and didn't wish for different. That how I know I truly moved on.
I just wanted to share this cause even though I moved on in the love relationship wise this (him trying to come back and me turning it down) showed me that I'm truly at peace and no bone in be wants the confusion back! But custody is another issue! An issue that will be over soon.
Congratulations!
These stories are so important to show others it can be done.
I will share my story, which at my lowest point - I could never have fathomed.
My exBPDgf attempted to recycle me on the 16th Oct, once she had vanquished my replacement.
Her goal was to either recycle me or hurt me.
It backfired on her
gloriously.
She basically admitted to cheating on me and claimed she still loved me. I took great schadenfreude at knowing that relationship failed
She had framed me for domestic violence at the break up, and accused me of having done the same to my ex of 9 years, who she was insanely jealous of. Smeared me along those lines to her friends and family.
On that day, Oct 16th, I told her that I had become good friends with my 9 year non-disordered ex again.
It was like a knife through her heart.
Not one quantum of her being could be happy for me.
Furthermore, it laid waste to her narrative that I was a woman beater.
I also told her that someone had attempted to run me over on August 25th and the police are investigating/taking it to court, believe there is grounds for attempted manslaughter. (in reality, the police did SFA)
She basically panicked and try to get away from me as quickly as possible.
At no stage was I nasty - in fact, I stopped her and insisted that she give me a hug - I said, I loved you
once and I'm
never going to see you again. Abandonment terror in overdrive.
Later I unblocked her, as I knew she would panic over the legal threat.
She did of course and began to write me to enquire further and deny responsibility (with her typical condescending and narcissistic twist).
I told her, in that case, she has nothing to worry about - it's out of my hands, since it's all recorded on CCTV & the police are pursuing it
I told I loved her once, but I don't anymore. I told her that I realise now - I deserve better and I can do better. Knife through her narcissistic heart again.
She enquired if I'd met anyone, then I said I'd been loyal to her, never betrayed her, but that her meeting me had finally given me the closure I needed to move on. She said we couldn't be friends. I said - that's your decision, I have to accept it.
Then I ignored her, while she did the usual BPD thing of threatening to block me 3 times - until I blocked her first. LMAO!
I literally had that visualisation, of hitting the ball back across the net so hard, that it shocked her.
At no stage was I nasty to her - but she had been so incredibly skilled at manipulating me and pressing my buttons all along.
What goes around, comes around.
Of course, she was firing off shots, insults and accusations at me throughout - but once you understand the disorder and their manipulation tactics- they simply don't stick.
I've forgiven her now and ultimately I am grateful for the good times. She is still attempting to smear me on Facebook/Instagram just recently. This is mostly damaging her own reputation.
No doubt, she was lonely over Xmas and decided to creep my Facebook, saw I was in an undefined relationship and boiled over with narcissistic injury.
I still have another card up my sleeve... .in the year that my 9 year ex and I had spent apart, she matured and became independent.
And I became less codependent.
On October 17th, we decided to recommence the relationship. I'm not going to lie - it's not easy in some respects after being in a BPD relationship, especially the sexual aspect, but it's a healthy and much better relationship than it ever had been before. And we both want the same things at last.
I've kept everything completely private on Facebook, but Feb 20th is the anniversary of the BPD relationship - she will almost certainly be creeping my Facebook page, so that is the day that I will update my profile picture, to show myself, my mrs and our dog - together - happy as pigs in ****
