I am lost...

[arana]

I don't know what to say. I signed on weeks ago, but the flood of information and requirements was overwhelming, especially in light of my situation.

I don't even know how to start.

I love a man who I think, and my shrink thinks, has BPD

he is hating me 90% of time. misconstrued everthing I say, I can only chat, he now refuse to talk on phone where we had no problems. he refuses to see me again, in person no problems. I have to chat, where he picks apart everything I say and twists it. my shrink has given me lots of help but I suspect it is too late

I am an emotional wreck, I don't know where to turn what to say what to do. I am losing control.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

Feeling lost is quite natural around here. Everything that we thought we knew about relationships seems to go out the window when dealing with BPD. The good news is that we've been where you are and are hear to listen and support you. Based on what you have written about everything being twisted and being pushed away, we have been in a similar situation to you. You will see from reading the posts here that you are far from alone.

What happened recently to bring your here?

It is my humble opinion that as long as you have hope, it's never too late to try to save the relationship. There are no guarantees, but we'll help give you the best shot at it. There is a lot of information here - articles, workshops, etc. - and we'll help you find what you need.

I believe you will be greatly comforted by the support here and the fact that we really understand what you are going through. We've all been there to varying degrees. Take care of yourself. We will look out for future posts from you.

[arana]

my bf dumps me at least 2-3 times a week, sometimes 2-3 times in one day.

I recently told him I would not chat with him anymore until he spoke with me on the phone. that actually helped, we didn't have any terrible problems for three weeks

then it's back to you him finding a word or making something up and accusing me of it or just going crazy and none of my techniques Works. each time it's something new. He told me sometime he won't talk to me on the phone because he knows it will calm him down, he will not be so angry at me, in fact he might not even do something rash after all.

but when he is so angry he wants to stay that way.

what brought me here was that i found out his possible problem

after 7 months, he finally believes that when I say I love him, that is what I mean. no more hidden meanings, etc this is big for him

 I don't really know what I want to do I decide I can't go through another day of misery but he us just as miserable. I know he'll be back in 1-2 day s, the longest he's ever been able to keep his anger at me is a week. it's usually just a day at the most

every time he gets closer to me, feels that he is, all hell breakes lose and i pay

we are stuck

[Mutt]

Hi arana,

I can understand being dump 2 or 3 times a day would feel like emotional rollercoaster  What's techniques are not working?

[Meili]

every time he gets closer to me, feels that he is, all hell breakes lose and i pay

This is not uncommon for people with BPD. The feeling of intimacy triggers a fear of abandonment. When this happens, they act out.

we are stuck

It's good that your recognize this! To get unstuck, change your behaviors. There are some links in the sidebar on the right of the page that can help you do that.