Help

[Polo7]

Hello, I am married to a wonderful woman that I was completely happy with until like 10 years ago and became really unhappy with about 3 years ago.  This is after being with this person for over 20 years.  I am blown away at the amount of dislike she has for me all of a sudden.  In fact she told me this week that I don't hate you anymore.  I have been accused of so many unbelievable things without any evidence whatsoever.  I am really really sad as the side effects of this illness has caused great harm on my family. 

All of my family and friends are tired of listening to me to discuss this unbelievable phenomenon.  Please help me with some guidance... .

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[TDeer]

You might get some more specific help over time if you share a bit more.


You said that she suddenly told you that she didn't hate you ANYMORE? So, then she's telling you that she's hated you for a certain length of time?

What support structure do you have? You mentioned that you think everyone is tired of hearing you talk about this woman to them, but you do need a safe space to talk about your feelings. Your feelings count.

Would you be able to see a therapist to help you?

That's just my two cents' worth. I'm no expert here.

[Mutt]

HI Polo7,



I'd like to join TDeer and welcome you to  bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that. I can see how it would be difficult for you to share with family and friends when you're worried that you'er going to burn them out. I went through a traumatic event when my ex left and I just wanted to make sense of her leaving me, I turned to family and friends for help.

It helps to talk people that are or have been in a r/s with someone that displays traits of BPD, it's difficult to convey your message to family and friend when they have not gone though the experience. I'll put in a different way, it's hard to empathize with someone that is going through or has gone through divorce if you haven't gone through it yourself, you get it, you know painful it is right away if you've gone through a divorce.

Polo7, are you working with a T? ( Therapist ) It helps to talk to people that cam relate you concurrently with a T, you're not alone.

BPD BEHAVIORS: Splitting