Lost

[constellation]

My 17 years old son has been diagnosed with BPD, and he hates me, he blames me, he left home to live with my parents who are about 80 years old.  He just started therapy, and I miss him so much, I blame myself,  I hate myself, and he keeps telling me that I ruined his life.  I would like to read stories, things that might help me as a mother.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome!
It is good your son recognizes he needs help and is agreeable to therapy.  Him seemingly hating you is part of the illness of bpd.  The ones closest gets the blame for everything in life.  Try not to take it personally.   Please have a look around this forum and read some of the topics in the drop down menus alongg the top. As you familiarize yourself more with bpd you will see it is paramount to take care of yourself.  Please write more as you are able.  We are here for you.

[BPDstinks]

Hi!  I am so sorry to read of your situation!  My 24 y/o daughter (pwBPD!) cut ties with me, her father, her sister and her nieces 3 years ago (!) she texts me every now & than (just saying...when she needs something); I have pondered how this happened (?) and finally am just awaiting if or when pwBPD reaches out!  I have a wonderful therapist who specializes in parents of children (young adults) with BPD; regardless, it is so painful (right now, I realize, a lot of her friends are graduating or getting married, etc. it makes me so sad that "we" are not experiencing anything together, I read something like "pre-grief" where you mourn what you would have had....in any case, I will say a prayer for you and your child!  BPD is a BEAST and I would not wish it on anyone....I do not know your particular back story, however, I went through photos, researched BPD and blamed myself, however, I truly don't know what I could have done differently, so....blame is a horrible game...feel free to reach out!