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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: Being split on  (Read 152 times)
Verde63
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 2


« on: June 30, 2025, 05:10:11 PM »

I was recently split by my bpd female friend. We never really dated, but I thought about it..we met and became close friends at a local dog park and she would contact me several times a day and we talked for hours at times. I know she has paid trauma from her former workplace whichbshe cried over and doesn't have the best relationship with her half siblings.

About a month ago while I was having side effect reaction to a medication, i sent a pissed off text and a short argument later thst day..thst basically guaranteed the split.

We started to talk a little last few weeks and then I sent a really friendly text just talking about the weather or something.  The next day she said we can only talk at the park and thst the friendly text triggered all the bad thoughts of our fight and work trauma.
She never accepted my sincere apology a month ago and basically acts like our friendship was never that strong and we were just acquaintances ( hundreds of calls from her say otherwise)

I'm just going to avoid her as much as possible,  but this still stings. I had one bad day out of 300 and now I'm just a villian...it sucks
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cynp

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 27


« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2025, 12:38:25 PM »

I have learned that this is part and parcel of caring for a prson with BPD. I always must keep emotion in check, and never just have a bad day or be in a bad mood. They can have a bad day at work and come home in a rage, but I cannot speak in a way even midly sullen or snappy. Not unless I want yelled at.
But this has helped me also stay in control of emotion. It has helped me learn to not make a bad day put me in a bad mood toward others who had nothing to do with it. I also try and model releasing lifes frustrations quickly and healthfuklly without anger.
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Verde63
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 2


« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2025, 05:14:42 PM »

Thanks for replying. It's quite a double standard and a situation I can't win. I'm just keeping mybdistance and won't engage in conversation.  Who knows if she'll ever come around.  One bad day put of 300 for me and the friendship is ruined
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