Broken Up Any advice

[Princess Ruth]

Hi everyone,
New here

I’m hoping for some perspective from people who either live with BPD or have been in relationships with someone who does.

I was dating someone for about three months. We saw each other most weekends, got on incredibly well, and were talking about future plans over the next few months. Our families knew about each other and it all felt warm, consistent and genuinely happy.

Around ten days ago, we had a huge argument that felt like it came out of nowhere to me. He ended the relationship very abruptly, saying he didn’t see it going anywhere. At that point, I didn’t know he had BPD.

After things calmed down, he came back to talk and hug me and explained that he has BPD and that he’s supposed to walk away during arguments so he doesn’t say things he regrets. He also said he thought we should stay finished because he couldn’t give me what I needed.

Since then, he removed me from his social media, but continued watching my stories for a few days before removing himself. He blocked me on WhatsApp, then unblocked me a few days ago and has been viewing my WhatsApp stories.

I’m completely heartbroken. If I’d known about the BPD earlier, I feel like I could have responded differently and maybe handled conflict in a more supportive way.

I’m not looking to blame him — I just genuinely want to understand:

• Is this kind of push–pull dynamic common during splits?
• Does unblocking and watching stories usually mean anything?
• Is space the best thing to give right now?
• If you were in his position, what would feel safe or supportive from an ex-partner?

I care about him deeply, but I also don’t want to make things worse or push him further away. Any insight would be appreciated.

Thank you.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Me88]

just about 3 months? This was a very short lived relationship. His mirroring and mask wasn't very strong. At least he walked away as to not say or do anything horrible.

Push-pull isn't only during splits, it's truly how they exist. You can wake up feeling like a God...then come home to verbal lashings because you left your toothbrush by the sink. Nothing makes sense.

Given that you know these situations are common in BPD, and you've only been dating for ~3 months, why are you so invested in possibly choosing this dynamic? Given what I know and have experienced, yes, this is sad and hurting you...but run away and don't look back. Give that energy and love to someone else?