Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
June 16, 2026, 04:12:35 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Reconnect With BPD Mother?  (Read 17 times)
AutumnBlossom
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Confidential
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Divorced/Single
Posts: 1


« on: June 16, 2026, 12:44:21 PM »

Hello,
This is my first time ever posting in a forum. I am a 48 y/o daughter of a BPD mother. I have gone No Contact for 4 years now. I do not regret my choice. However, from time to time, I wonder if I should ever reconnect with her when she is elderly or if she becomes ill.
I have a large family, most of whom still live close to her. 2 siblings are favorites, 3 of us were scapegoats (one sister died of an OD), and 3 siblings were basically invisible. So if my mother ever did become sick or frail, she would still have family to care for her.
My question is, has anyone ever ended thier No Contact, and what was their experience? I don't have any expectations that our relationship will magically heal, but I wonder what the experience and aftermath could be like?
Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Pook075
Ambassador
********
Online Online

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 2228



« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2026, 03:47:12 PM »

My question is, has anyone ever ended thier No Contact, and what was their experience? I don't have any expectations that our relationship will magically heal, but I wonder what the experience and aftermath could be like?

Hello and welcome to the family!  And great question!

Unfortunately, the experiences tend to be mixed when it comes to reconnecting.  Many here have done it successfully, myself included, but not all of those stories have happy endings.  In some of them, everything was wonderful for a period of time, then everything blew up.  In others, there was lots of bitterness in the reconnection and it quickly brought up old patterns and memories.

I think to give you a better answer, we'd have to talk about your motives.  I mean, you've already laid them out nicely- mom's getting old, she doesn't necessarily need you with the big family, but it would be nice to smooth things over. 

Are there any other reasons?  What about grandkids?

A common "theme" here seems to have been around major life events, holidays, etc.  Do you get together with your siblings at all for July 4th, Thanksgiving, or Christmas?  That would be the easiest way to "test the waters" without actually diving in.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!