How do you deal with the hurt and blocking

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Now I’m a blockee for a month now , must be the umpteenth time , and the last interaction was a big argument and her running away, then blocked. And yes I was annoyed with her so I contributed to the argument so I’m at fault too. How do you guys deal with the loss and the pain of someone who love but you know you can’t be with? She loved me just before our argument , then I’m the devil within minutes. Wanting to reach out but can’t as they block you and knowing you shouldn’t anyway. Silly me.  It’s quite the conundrum.

[Prouncer]

Now I’m a blockee for a month now , must be the umpteenth time , and the last interaction was a big argument and her running away, then blocked. And yes I was annoyed with her so I contributed to the argument so I’m at fault too. How do you guys deal with the loss and the pain of someone who love but you know you can’t be with? She loved me just before our argument , then I’m the devil within minutes. Wanting to reach out but can’t as they block you and knowing you shouldn’t anyway. Silly me.  It’s quite the conundrum.

[Pook075]

In this situation, you're literally playing with fire without even realizing it.

Why?  Your BPD partner wants you to chase them, but if you chase them then they take it as proof that everything they accused you of is 100% valid.  If you don't chase them, there's a chance that they'll reach out to you but it's just as likely that they'll take it as a sign of abandonment and move on.

In my opinion from having this exact conversation dozens of times here over the years, you're better off not reaching out.

With that said, there's a chance that the relationship is not salvagable at this point.  So what's best for your ex might not be your biggest priority anymore.  What's best for you?  And what would you be looking for by reaching out?  A second chance?  Closure?  Telling her off?  Tell us why you'd reach out and we can give more specific advice.

[ForeverDad]

My ex blocked my email just hours before the police arrived and asked her to step outside.  She was facing a Threat of DV charge.  Of course, eventually there was a quickie trial and case dismissed.  That was 21 years ago when we separated and divorced.  I haven't checked in a long time but I'm sure my email account is still blocked.

Our child was three years old then, now grown and long past aging out of the custody orders.  We do have texting as an option and often our son is the go-between.  It is what it is.

Acceptance is one of the stages of Grieving a Loss.

[Prouncer]

Thanks for  the responses.i guess the reason I thought of reaching out is I miss the good times, and some part of me hopes she might eventually change.  Which is silly I know. Plus I wanted to remain friends as I miss our friendship level interactions like phone chats etc. additionally I don’t like the idea that she thinks it’s all my fault and want to try to change that narrative. I guess I wanted to leave it as friends not the way it was left. I still care for her and worry for her as she doesn’t have a lot. She Had a shocking childhood and the rescuer side of me wants to see her ok too.. all a bit tragic eh%%?

[Rowdy]

We all miss the good times. Let’s face it, if we didn’t have them we wouldn’t have been stuck in the relationship.
However, it is unlikely you will see any change, especially if there is no diagnosis and no therapy taking place.
While I get that you would like to remain friends, you need to weigh up whether this would actually be healthy for you.

I’ve read some of your posts and you have said many times she believes she is always right, unfortunately if she thinks it’s all your fault you will unlikely be able to change that narrative.
As an example, I messaged my sister in law over a decade ago. I said I was worried about her sister. I was worried about her erratic driving in a fast car and I was worried she would end up dead in a ditch somewhere. My ex took that and turned it into I wanted her dead. She even reiterated that two weeks ago. I told her that isn’t what I had said and it wasn’t what I meant but she told me that I was wrong. That my own thoughts in my own head were wrong.

It isn’t silly, or tragic. It shows that you are a decent, healthy human being that has empathy. In time you will care less if you are blocked or not.