narcissist vs borderline

[honeysuckle]

i am aware that many times these disorders over lap but i was wondering is any of you have had this behavior happen to you and if it a borderline thing or a narc thing.

several times in my time with my relationship i have experienced him in a total melt down when we would break up. he broke up with me but would cry and say he is so sad and knows he is making a mistake but hes just not happy... .no other reason. then the next day its Christmas and I hear nothing and he is with someone else. Then more crying days later. With no understanding of why i would be confused that i didnt hear from him on a holiday. Most times he would disappear and then i would run into him at work and his face would light up and he would hug me and tell me how happy he was to see me then text me right after how he loves me. then nothing again. then a week later cuss me out for not answering his call and saying now hes too busy to talk when i called back.  the list goes on like that.
I assumed that was me being split black but now im not sure if that is really how it works. Does anyone have any experiences like that with a borderline? or is this more of a Narcissist thing?

[roberto516]

It's definitely an overlap of both because both of them like to be in control of their external situations and they get their validation from others. But someone with narcissism is more flamboyant about their confidence and the admiration they want. They tend to be more success driven in society in terms of jobs and how people view them with things like wealth and status. Whereas a borderline is mostly just absorbed and how they are viewed in things like a relationship and how parental figures might think about them. I hope that helps a little bit i am a therapist believe it or not and usually the symptoms will overlap. But when I see a narcissism treatment they tend to be more of a blamer and less of a victim and they have this sense of grandiosity that a borderline usually doesn't. Both are self-centered but as I said a narcissist once everyone to look at how great they are while the borderline is more in line with I want you to show me how great I am by doing all these nice things for me by being the Knight and Shining Armor.