Hi... feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, and insane

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi I have a very close male friend who I have dated on and off now for a few years. I am at my wits end from the constant vicious cycle of the good... .the bad... .the good... .the bad and everything being my fault no matter what circumstance or situation I am left holding the bag as the bad guy and treated like I am the devil! If I leave he threatens me if I stay it's insanity! I have shared my feelings with him that I think he has BPD ... .he flips the script and it's all me and I am the one with BPD! I don't know what to do anymore!

[KLCK]

Hi I have a very close male friend who I have dated on and off now for a few years. I am at my wits end from the constant vicious cycle of the good... .the bad... .the good... .the bad and everything being my fault no matter what circumstance or situation I am left holding the bag as the bad guy and treated like I am the devil! If I leave he threatens me if I stay it's insanity! I have shared my feelings with him that I think he has BPD ... .he flips the script and it's all me and I am the one with BPD! I don't know what to do anymore!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome KLCK:

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  I can understand how you are at your wits end.   In what way does he threaten you when you leave?

Unfortunately, it's common for people with BPD (pwBPD) to turn the tables on you and tell you that you have BPD.  It generally doesn't go well when they are confronted.  You can't change him.  What you can do, is learn to set some boundaries and learn some communication skills that can make things easier for you.

If you go to the very top of this page, you will see a wide green band, with some menus.  Go to the "Tools" menu.  The links within that menu will take you to some good starter lessons.  The lessons on "Setting Boundaries" and ":)on't be Invalidating" are two good ones to start with.  Some people like to read the lessons and then come back and post to validate their understanding and practice using the skills.  Perhaps it is something you might want to try.