Healing from the pain

[SunshineIsThere]

Been in a relationship with a borderline (not diagnosed) for 3 years and recently broken up with him after a traumatic physical abuse caused by his alcohol and emotional problems. Since then been on No Contact and he is out of my life. I am recovering slowly but it is hard. I need help and support!

[happendtome]

How long this No contact has been? First weeks, months are definitely hard, but it will get better over the time. But remember, no contact means also no stalking in social media. Something, i think, we often forget

[Herodias]

Sorry you went through that. You may want to get help through the domestic violence group in your area, they can explain how you can heal yourself. You can go to a local Alanon group and/or church. I did all of these. I was in the same situation as you, just longer and married. I can tell you that even when they quit drinking, the personality is still there- I saw it. Unless they get the help they need, it will not change. Abuse gets worse, so please get yourself help so you do not go back for more. 

[Inneedofhelp]

So sorry to hear you have been through that. It is so good that you got out-I am still trying to detach myself from an abusive r/s but it is difficult because he is in denial that there is anything wrong with him, and we have 2 children together. Keep strong with the NC-I would love to get there someday soon. Have you considered a therapist too? I am just going to start. We need to heal ourselves and discover that we are kind loving people no matter what was said otherwise.

[kentavr3]

I understand how you feel. I have been in pain for 3 years. Sometimes it let go , sometimes a lot of flashbacks. But, step by stet our resistance will never end. Good luck! there is no a way back. All bridges burnt.