Confronting my sister

[Meggiepooh]

How do I confront my sister about possibly having BPD?  It is very obvious that this is what is going on but I know she will not be open to listening about it because she is the victim in every situation and I am the one that is always hurting her.  It is not only me that finds this to be the issue, all of her relationships are strained and constantly on the verge of ending.  Can someone give me some advice on where to start?

[Pilpel]

The N/BPD in my life is similar in that she has drama with pretty much everyone she's close to.  I don't know anyone who hasn't had a weird experience with her.  Her own family was on the verge, at one point, of disowning her. 

A few years back when we got into an email debate, I mentioned that I thought she had BPD.  She said she'd look into it, but I don't think she has taken it very seriously.  The email was CC'ed to my brother, so I can only hope that he looked into it.  The trouble I see with telling them that they have BPD and suggest they get help is that they never really come to sharing the same reality as the rest of us.  She's used to living this way, of always weaving a different reality that suits her.  If we don't validate her reality, the there's conflict and FOG. If you can bring the BPD to a shared (honest) reality then you can probably talk to her about BPD.  If you can't, she's never going to be receptive.  She's always going to veer back to her own made up reality --usually the reality where she's the victim no matter how much she bullies.