After being called out a couple of times the behavior ceased, but...

[scrayvic]

My soon to be ex-BPD didn't lie directly but always said "this person said this about you or the kids"  It was always someone else saying these things but the stories just didn't ring true to me. There was always some small nugget of truth in there (So it was not a bald faced lie) but it was so embellished the stories she told just did not make sense.  I accepted this for years but rarely acted on the statements because I didn't believe what she was saying.  :)epending on the circumstances I might be accused of not believing her or not being a loyal husband.  I usually just said I could not act on 2nd hand information.  About 2 years ago I got tired of this game so I started circling back with the people who supposedly said these things on the advice of a counselor.  I quickly found out all these things people supposedly said were complete fabrications and in all likelihood all of them had been over the past 9 years.  After confronting her a couple of times and actually starting to call the person in question (with her present) she continued to insist the stories were true up until the phone started ringing then she backed off and admitted she had made the story up.  After being called out a couple of times the behavior ceased, but I am sure it contributed to her decision to leave because I was not willing to play the BPD game any more.  Just be aware confronting the lies can lead to other acting out behavior issues in a BPD individual

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Are you thinking to divorce at this point?